Signs You are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse (Stages Of Recovery Explained)
If you have just separated your ways from a narcissist and you want to make sure that you are doing better or in the process, if healing then here are some ways to know by knowing the signs you are Healing from Narcissistic abuse. It is very important to overcome the abuse and toxicity for you to move on in life and do better.
Narcissistic abuse is not something normal that can be healed through some medications or by opting for some negative traits like alcoholism or shutting down your emotions completely. Healing comes through spending time with yourself, enjoying your own company, surrounding yourself with good and positive people, not being afraid to acknowledge the hurt and working for it, seeking therapies, being one with nature, and most importantly not rushing the healing process.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
NOTE: Note that not all kinds of abusers or wrongdoers can be termed narcissists. Some people may tend to have narcissistic qualities but they are not diagnosed or tagged narcissists and they still are abusers. So it is important here that first you understand your abuser or the wrongdoer and understand the pattern of toxicity.
What is NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition, where the patient has extremely high admiration for their self which includes boosted self-esteem, self-centeredness, high self-worth, boosted ego, and a low tolerance for criticism, emotions, and attachments.
How can a Narcissist be defined?
A Narcissist is an individual who is excessively obsessed to have control over all situations in their life, control over all individuals and their behavior, and also expects everyone around the to focus just on them. They intend to be the center of attraction in all situations. They think the world rotates around them and so they are very ignorant, self-centered, and mean. They cannot think outside the box unless it is according to or in their interest or favor.
How do you know whether your family member is suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?
The answer to this question is difficult to know especially in a short time. After spending some time with them, you might feel you are mistreated, or not given enough importance and credit. When you have given enough time to your family, that member thinks the opposite. So when you come across such a person you might still feel like an outsider around them, you might not be included while important decisions or your opinion would be sidetracked.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships. Narcissists can play mind tricks and manipulate you. They can easily manipulate you by deceiving you. They do not think twice before hurting you, have selfish desires, can even cheat, or can do anything to make their ways work.
The most important step is to understand their abuse and also understand how it is not normal. Then comes the task of recognizing their pattern of abuse, their ways of creating drama and a toxic atmosphere, their harmful approaches, and responses to your simple questions, their change of behavior as soon as a third party enters the scene, or never accepting their mistakes.
Narcissistic abuse is when a narcissist drains positivity out of you which can make you lifeless and sad.
Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
A few signs of narcissistic abuse are,
- You feel the constant need to walk on eggshells around the narcissist.
- You feel your reality is distorted and you live just the way the narcissist wants you to live.
- You get used to domestic violence, rage outbursts, and mental and physical pain.
- You get used to the lies that a narcissist tells you all the time.
- You start doubting your sanity around narcissists as they manipulate and disregard you.
- You fear their presence, you are threatened when you do something unpleasing to the narcissist, you fear your safety, and are constantly disrespected in the relationship.
- They hurt you physically, mentally, emotionally, and thoughtfully.
- You feel isolated, your habits change drastically when you are around them, you leave your good old selves just to match their expectations and you become their pawn to fulfill their demands.
- You feel confused and clueless around them.
- You lose your self-worth, self-pride, and self-love around them.
What is Healing? – Why is Emotional or Mental Healing important?
Healing is the process of becoming healthy both mentally and physically. Healing alleviates and eradicates mental illness, and physical illness and increases energy flow.
Why is Emotional and Mental Healing important?
- Emotional and Mental healing is important for stabilizing the beneficial behavior for the emotional and mental well-being of society.
- It can enhance mental stability, productivity, and confidence and improves relationships.
- Helps to cope with stress.
- It increases work productivity.
- It helps in maintaining healthy relationships.
- It helps in maintaining balance in life.
- It enhances self-esteem, self-worth, and positivity in life.
- It helps eradicate stress, depression, and negativity from life.
Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you depart ways with a narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.
Signs you are Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
- You can smell the freedom
- You look happy and healthy
- You can reminiscence your good old habits
- You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
- Your life starts seeming carefree
- Your smile does not leave your face
- You become social again
- You become more confident with life
- Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
- You start feeling all the emotions
- You allow yourself time to heal and feel the grief
1. You can smell the freedom
You start feeling lighter both emotionally and physically. It feels as if a burdensome object or an issue has been lifted from your life. When you start feeling better inwardly that is from within yourselves, this is an indication of healing from narcissistic abuse. You may start achieving goals like making a good career, losing/gaining weight, make your mental and physical health better due to less or nearly no stress in life.
You start accepting yourself as is without the need for constant validation, you start letting go of the illusionary facade that you created for a narcissist, and you start seeing the true form of abuse rather than distorting the reality of the abuse as a normal excuse or habit. You start to accept the complete situation, responsibility, and circumstance of life as is. These are the signs of freedom and healing from narcissistic abuse.
2. You look happy and healthy
Reduced stress, reduced negativity from life, and increased self-confidence are all signs of healing from narcissistic abuse. When you longer feel influenced by a narcissist, you ignore or care less about their nasty behavior and when you take a stand for yourself and do everything to keep yourself happy and healthy even if it includes going against their wish are all signs of healing of narcissistic abuse.
3. You can reminiscence your good old habit
When you start giving importance to yourself you get to rejoice in your good old habits which you had to change forcefully or against your will just to satisfy or make a narcissist happy. When minimizing contact with the narcissist or stopping thinking about them and their needs before yours, or bringing your individuality back are all the good old habits that you might have lost on the way to pleasing the narcissist.
For example, before meeting the narcissist you might be enjoying certain dishes, certain movie genres, or any such certain things which you had to stop liking just because of the narcissist because most of the time you were just doing what they like or did not give importance to your wishes due to the fear of displeasing them and become a victim of their rage or the silent treatment. Thus when you start doing all those things which are not liked by the narcissist or continue with your good old habits, is the time and signs you are healing from narcissistic abuse.
4. You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
To make their grip even firm on you and establish complete control over you the narcissists would try to isolate you from your friend group, relatives, and anyone you can rely on emotionally. They would only want you to depend upon only them and nobody else. So they make you feel like you cannot enjoy your own company and you need them for enjoyment.
So when you realize that you are more than enough for you to enjoy and live life to the fullest, this is when you realize that you are healing from narcissistic abuse.
Previously when in a relationship with a narcissist you stop giving importance to your life and just prioritize the narcissist and you feel like you are just living life for the sake of doing so, but when you leave a narcissist or separate yourself from them, you start realizing the importance of your life and your attitude changes toward your life. This is a certain sign of healing.
5. Your life starts seeming carefree
Narcissists would suck the positivity out of you and drain you. They would make you feel emotionally exhausted by insulting you when you do not agree with them, abusing you when you avoid them, making you feel guilty for not appreciating them, demanding money or love from you, keeping high expectations, fulfilling all their desires with you on their side, they would be mean to you, be sarcastic and crack jokes on you, humiliate you and even threaten you about breaking up or ending things with you.
But when you decide not to care about all those things and be carefree and start living your life indeed without their interference, is a sign of healing from narcissistic abuse.
6. Your smile does not leave your face
Narcissists like to keep you on your toes and while doing that you can lose yourself in the process. You might notice that you do everything that makes them happy but care least for your own happiness. You start t fake your happiness, which leads to the disappearance of a smile from your face and real happiness from your life and thus you feel depressed and unwanted.
Showing a narcissist how happy you are without them can just piss them off. Proving that you are happy without them can intimidate a narcissist making them annoyed and giving clear signs that you long for them. They feel that they are losing their importance in your life. They are scared that you can also be independently happy without them. So when you really become responsible for your own happiness and when a smile does not leave your face even for a minute, then this is the time that you are healing from narcissistic abuse.
But when you feel about yourself, are confident and satisfied with yourself and simply seem cheerful and lively all the time, then these are the signs that you are recovering from the narcissistic abuse.
7. You become social again
A narcissist only wants that you just chill and hang out with them, and not your friends, relatives, or anyone that can show you the reality of their narcissistic abuse. They just wish that you are always living the way they want, and avoid meeting people to socialize to spare time just with them.
But when you finally become the carefree self that used to enjoy going out and socializing without giving a thought to their interest is a sign of healing. This can only happen when you do not care about them and enjoy what you do.
8. You become more confident with life
The moment you leave the narcissist is the moment you realize how beautiful life can be true. You start feeling confident and contended with life. You start living to the fullest and feel the need to enjoy life the way you want. This is the sign that you are healing from the narcissistic abuse and start living life from fifty percent to a complete hundred percent.
9. Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
When all those anxiety attacks, constantly deteriorating health, insomnia, indigestion, fatigue, chronic pain, and diseases all seem to disappear due to less exposure to stress, negativity, and unhappiness. So when your health becomes better and you start feeling lively and stress-free again, those are the signs of mental and physical healing from narcissistic abuse.
10. You start feeling all the emotions
You might have become an emotionless robot when you had a relationship with a narcissist because you prefer hiding or depressing your emotions in order to keep up the relationship with the narcissist. You might be avoiding all the sad emotions with help of excuses just to keep yourself from feeling the pain. But when you start feeling all the emotions like grief, happiness, sorrow, sadness, empathy, sympathy, and every other emotion in depth, then this is the sign you are healing indeed from the narcissistic abuse.
11. You allow yourself time to heal and feel the grief
The most important step toward healing is to allow yourself to feel all the grief and give ample time to yourself to heal. Time is the only medicine that you need for healing.
Stages of Recovery after facing Narcissistic abuse
- Denial
You would be constantly denying the toxicity of the relationship, in the beginning.
- Guilt
You go into the self-guilt mode for recognising the red flags as soon as possible.
- Bargaining
Here you try to persuade yourself and bargain time for yourself in hopes that your partner might change.
- Depression
Once you realize and decide to move out of the relationship, depression would also follow along.
- Grief
Grief strikes as soon as you decide to leave the toxic relationship.
- The turning point
There comes a pause point to the point where you actually realize life’s worth and start living life to the fullest without the toxicity.
- Facing the reality and dealing with pain
You allow yourself to grieve from time to time along with the required healing.
- Hopeful future and life
Your life soon becomes amazing again, without all the drama, toxicity, hatred, manipulation, and twisted truths. You soon see the hope, brightness, and positivity of life.
In Conclusion
Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you depart ways with a narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.
The most important step is to understand their abuse and also understand how it is not normal. Then comes the task of recognizing their pattern of abuse, their ways of creating drama and a toxic atmosphere, their harmful approaches, and responses to your simple questions, their change of behavior as soon as a third party enters the scene, or never accepting their mistakes.
Notice all the red flags, when they are so clear to you. Do not get brainwashed or do not get caught up in the fog of a narcissist’s atmosphere of lies and excuses. Take all the above-mentioned signs as signs of healing or hint of healing, and free yourself from such a toxic relationship as soon as possible.
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