Understanding Narcissistic Behavior: Lying, Cheating, Jealousy, Control, and Their Reactions in Relationships

What are the dating phases while dating a narcissist?

There are three basic dating phases while dating a narcissist, let us know the phases of dating a narcissist as presented by mental health experts, psychologists, and knowledgeable therapists;

1. Attraction or Idealization Phase

The first and most menacing phase of dating a Narcissist is this phase. Attraction or Idealization is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply. This step feels like you are on cloud 9. They would make you feel so special and out of the world, that you would think, you have found the love of your life.

During the Attraction or Idealization dating stage, they would shower you with excessive love, text you regularly, compliment you, make your favorite dish, want to be around you all the time, note the most minor things, and make you extremely special. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to make you fall in love with them.

There are some possible ways a narcissist would show their love or love-bombing you with their tactics,

• They might take you to your favorite restaurant and say all kinds of cheesy things so that they can win you or lure you into a relationship. But remember this is just temporary, this would all fade away once they know you are into them and no longer you can be of much use to them.
• They might also do things like buying expensive presents, going shopping with you, might choose a PDA(Public Display of Affection), and many more such means to lure you.

2. Devaluation Phase

The Devaluation phase begins as soon as a narcissist is able to completely lure you in. Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. They start showing their true face, gradually. To make their grip even firm on you and establish complete control over you they would try to isolate you from your friend group, relatives, and anyone you can rely on emotionally.

They would only want you to depend upon only them and nobody else. This is the phase when they would suck the positivity out of you and drain you. They would make you feel emotionally exhausted by insulting you when you do not agree with them, abusing you when you avoid them, making you feel guilty for not appreciating them, demanding money or love from you, keeping high expectations, fulfilling all their desires with you on their side, they would be mean to you, be sarcastic and crack jokes on you, humiliate you and even threaten you about breaking up.

This is the phase when you really realize what trap you are into! They would easily commence fights with you with the slightest inconvenience, or if you don’t give enough attention to them they would not let go of any chance of humiliating you, they would isolate you mentally and physically from others so that your attention can be completely on them and you can be their supply only.

The devaluation Phase is a grey phase, where you cannot bear them but cannot even let them go due to their manipulative tactics like love bombing along with insulting you or creating self-doubt in your mind, you would not be able to see the red flags as you would be in love them by the devaluation phase. Your self-doubt would be the highest and your self-confidence would have hit rock bottom by this phase. Thus devaluation phase is all about isolating you from others and using you for their benefit only.

3. Discard Phase or Rejection Phase

The Discard phase begins when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains.

This is the last and final stage where a narcissist would completely use you and when you are no longer available for them or become emotionally unavailable to them, emotionally drained, have no longer supply left, and start ignoring them; this is when they reject you and end the relationship abruptly.

The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. They just end things abruptly without any firm reasons. They might even be cheating on their partners during this phase and thus they discard them and move on to other relationships.

Do Narcissists Leave you for Another Person? – Why would a narcissist cheat on you?

Falseness, lack of trust, breach of commitments, and disloyalty are some of the narcissistic traits that are an integral part of their character and personality. They even have control issues and so they can’t control their nasty desires, materialistic needs, and physical intimacy needs. They may leave you when they find someone better than you or for fulfilling their magnified needs for lovemaking. To fulfill their empty and shallow life, narcissists gain attention, praise, and whatever they need to present their grandiosity of life. So if they are getting all of these needs fulfilled by someone else in a better manner they might leave you.

If they are bored with you then also they might leave you. If you pressurize them to be bound by matrimonial rituals or responsibilities like childbearing then they may run away from those and find someone new and get their needs fulfilled. Narcissistic have a dating loop that is almost never-ending until they desire to settle down.

Narcissists even get easily bored and dissatisfied with their partner, once they feel their source of supply has been drained, so they might leave you for another person sooner or later. Narcissists do not have empathy leading them to completely ignore another person’s emotions and prioritize their nasty desires over their partner’s feelings.

They might cheat on you or leave you for another person when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains; these can be some of the most common reasons why narcissist would cheat on you.

Would Narcissists be friends with you after breaking up?

Narcissists would simply not cut all ties with you and would leave some loose ends, through which they can be associated again. The narcissist seldom changes or it is a long process to change narcissist. It is a tiring process to maintain the friendship as you know a narcissist’s true nature. A narcissist would definitely not want to cut complete ties with you and would keep their options open for the future. They would want to be friends with you either for physical intimacy, to obtain their source of supply, or simply as a backup option.

A Narcissist craves physical intimacy, and when you are the most vulnerable they would insist that upon you. They would not tell you this but try to lure you for physical intimacy as soon as you try to recover from a breakup. They will play all sorts of love tactics to manipulate you and your thoughts just to keep you as an option for intimacy as friends. It is like a “Friends with benefits” situation. But once they get what they want to achieve, again they would show their true colors.

The reaction of a Narcissist when He/She sees you cry

There are a lot of reactions that you can expect from a narcissist at your gloomy time when you cry. Seeing you cry can be sometimes enjoyable for a narcissist or even they can be cold and just ignore you. Rather than comforting you, narcissists can often be annoyed by your weeping, or they can just snap at you. They can also judge you for being soft, can make fake apologies for the time being to make you stop crying, can just turn a blind eye to the crying, can make it about themselves as usual, or just leave you weeping.

Would a narcissist actually miss you after you break up?

The answer to this question is dubious. On one hand, they can miss you indeed, but they would actually miss how you made them feel with your presence. The narcissist is capable of feelings and emotions, but they are so full of themselves that they do not want to understand anybody else’s emotions. They would miss how their ego was satisfied by being with you and how they used to feel good around you as you were the one they would drain energy from.

On the other hand, a narcissist would actually not miss you but they would miss their source of supply with whom they used to boost their thirst for an unquenchable ego. Narcissists would try to come back into your life from time often until they find a new supply. Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior.

So until they find a new supply, a narcissist would miss you, try to come back into your life, and would also reconcile. As you can see a narcissist would do anything to obtain their supply, you can just stop their supply by not giving them attention. This would definitely grab their attention thus they would miss you.

How to make a Narcissist Miss You and Regret Losing You?

After leaving you or ignoring you for weeks, they would expect nothing to change and simply begin to act as if nothing has changed between you. They would leave you and you might be questioning yourself about what went wrong. But! Remember it is not your fault, it is just that they are bored with you and leave you without any notice. You can make them miss you or at least make them regret their decision of leaving you.

So it is time for payback for them. Yes! you can get payback from narcissists as certain ways can affect them too. Yes, a narcissist has no feelings or does not develop an emotional connection, but tables can be turned on for you by playing a narcissist by using their own tactics on themselves.

There are ways in which you can make a narcissist miss you so let us know them,

• Make new friends or date different people
• Going no contact or cutting complete contact
• Do not worry about what would a narcissist think
• Understand that there is no remorse when dealing with a narcissist
• Choose self-care
• Let the narcissist know what they are missing when they are not with you
• By not seeking a revenge

How do Narcissists feel when you move on?

If you move on first, they would be displeased with you and might make your difficult even after breaking up.

• They would feel agitated and would be harsh toward you
• They would try to seek revenge
• There is no repentance or remorse, instead all blame game
• They would hold you responsible for the breakup