How To Break Up With A Narcissist Via Text? (With Text Samples)
How to Break Up with a Narcissist via Text? Breaking up with a narcissist can be extremely tough, nerve-wracking, and emotionally draining. If you are in a toxic relationship where your partner is a narcissist, then it becomes extremely important to prioritize your own emotional and mental well-being. Breaking up with a narcissist can be challenging as they often try to manipulate or guilt-trip their partner into staying. So it becomes extremely important to have a thorough break up with a narcissist with a proper closure.
Narcissists tend to have a hold over situations, people (relationships), and most of the parts of their life happenings. They tend to be the elephant in the room with their controlling personalities, abusive nature and urge to gain the maximum from everyone. Dating a narcissist is very puzzling as you cannot figure at what stage you are at while dating them. You cannot put all pieces of a puzzle together while dating a narcissist as their behavior is different every time you try to approach them.
When someone breaks up with a narcissist, the narcissist may try to manipulate the situation to make the other person feel guilty and can also forcefully convince them to change their minds. Narcissists can try to gaslight, manipulate or change their partner’s thought process and also convince them to continue the abusive relationship.
How to Break up with a Narcissist via Text? (With Text Samples)
Breaking up with a narcissist might include chaos, a lot of manipulation, and criticism, and ultimately it can be a pretty tricky process. So to retain your peace of mind, and not face the narcissists directly, though indirectly this method can be successful and can also save you a lot of time, drama, and manipulation. So here are a few simple ways to break up with a narcissist via text message.
1. Plan what you have to say in advance
Prepping up a little in advance always makes the work easier and this also applies to breaking up. Try making a draft before sending the final text to the narcissist. Also, you can seek help from the internet or even cross-examine the content of the text with your friend. Also, go through your text thoroughly before sending it to avoid any misunderstandings or misjudgments. To craft a nearly perfect text message, try not to include unnecessary information just because you are in an emotionally hurt phase. This might simply prove that you may still need the narcissist, and the narcissist might not leave any chance to get back together with you.
2. Prepare Yourself well to come up with the best write-up for the text message
Before you break up with a narcissist, it is important to prepare yourself well in advance. You must initiate the breakup with a clear understanding of the whys and whats of the breakup process. Understand thoroughly all the reasons and consequences of breaking up with the narcissist. This step is very important because if you do not fully understand your reasons for breaking up, a narcissist will try to talk you out of it or manipulate you into staying. So take some time to reflect on the relationship and make a list of all the reasons why it is not working out.
3. Tell them about the breakup but without providing a reason
Keep your message as precise and short as possible. Narcissists always find a chance to argue, counter back to your ideas and statements, and also misunderstand most of your statements. So being a very clear, precise, and easy-to-understand statement may help you. Also, do not provide any clarifications or try not to sound like you are seeking validation from them for a breakup. Just be yourself, type out what your heart wishes but without being emotional. Just clearly state that you are wishing to break up without providing reasons, justifications, and also validations.
Example
“I hope you are doing well. I have been thinking a lot about our relationship lately, which seems falling apart over the past few days. So I have come to the conclusion that it is not going to work anymore between us. I think we should both part ways and thus give an end to our sorrows. It seems like the best solution. Please do not contact me ever.”
3. Keeping your message neutral
Keeping a breakup text neutral means expressing your intentions to end the relationship in a clear, respectful manner, without blame shifting or only accusing the other person. It is always helpful if you try to avoid any harsh, hurtful, or foul language to keep the tone of the conversation as calm and straightforward as possible.
Bad-mouthing using the harshest language to criticize seems like a tempting option here due to all the abuse, manipulation, torture, and hurt that you have faced during the controlling relationship, but controlling your language may prove to the narcissist that they no longer matter to you and you have simply decided to part ways with them and moved on in life.
Example
“Hey! I wanted to talk to you and let you know that I have been thinking a lot about our relationship and I don’t think it is working out for me anymore. I really appreciate the time we have spent together, but I think it is the best thing if we part ways from here. I hope you can understand and we both can move forward in life in possible ways.”
4. Be Clear and Direct with the content of the text
A narcissist will try to spin anything and stir the pot of your thoughts to make themselves look good. To avoid this situation, it is important to be clear and direct with your text message. Do not beat around the bush or express the duality of the thought of breaking up as it can be misinterpreted otherwise. Try to say what you really mean and mean what you have to say. Be firm with your decision and do not leave any room for any wrong interpretation or misunderstanding.
Example
“Hello! I have been doing a lot of thinking, and I think it would be best for both of us if we break up. We have different goals and priorities in life, and I do not think we can provide what we desire for each other.”
5. Try to keep things positive and less attacking through the text
It is very likely that your narcissistic ex is definitely going to interpret the breakup in a negative way. So try sounding less attacking and more like you are wishing them well. Try to use soft language, and wish them well in life.
Examples
“I feel sorry for the things that did not go as planned between us, but I truly wish you everything best in life. Take care and be happy.”
“I am still hoping you may find the love of your life along with all the happiness, success, and prosperity in life, even though we may not be together anymore. I am rooting for you. Stay Strong.”
6. Try to keep as many emotions as possible out of the picture
A narcissist loves to play on people’s emotions, but if you let your emotions get the best of you, they will have the upper hand here. Try to be as calm, cool, and collected as possible when you are writing the breakup text message. Avoid saying things that you might regret later. Remember you are trying to break up without creating a commotion here and also you are not trying to seek revenge through this, but just ending things with the person that you no longer think can serve your purpose in life.
These are points that you should keep in mind while breaking up with a narcissist through text messages. But there are a few points you should keep in mind after breaking up with a narcissist. Let us know all the precautionary steps or points you should keep in mind after breaking up with a narcissist.
What to expect or do after sending the break-up text to the narcissist?
Narcissists would not sit still and do nothing when you implement the break-up. Narcissists try to hoover around their exes or anyone ghosting them and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up or ghost a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long period of time. They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. And also it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply.
So they would be finding ways to either get back at you for leaving them abruptly or get together back with you after you text them about breaking up with them. So let us know some precautionary points to stay away from the narcissist after breaking up with them.
1. Block all means of communication or contact after breaking up
Going “No Contact” means going completely off contact or an off-reach approach with them be it by deleting or blocking them on social media, blocking their phone number, not visiting places that you expect them to be, or even going to extreme limits like switching your grocery stores, taking different metros, or avoiding any activity that you think you might bump into them. This ensures that you keep your distance from the narcissist.
To get rid of the narcissist without much of a hassle, the no-contact phase must stay implemented for a bare minimum of 60 days or more than that. This period is enough for both; for you to move on and for them to stop chasing and hoovering around you. This ensures your well-being both emotionally and mentally. Also, make sure to cut ties with your mutual friends, or at least try to stay away from social gatherings as the narcissist might try to find their way into your life through mutual friends, acquaintances, or even family members.
2. Try to seek support from friends and family after the breakup
Being alone in such a phase is risky and not good for your mental health also, as you would be healing from all the trauma that the narcissist had put you through. So do hesitate to reach out to friends and family for emotional support and also join some prayer groups, visit any worship place, if you are a believer, or join some communities or therapy groups that help in healing and dealing with trauma.
3. Be prepared for a reaction from the narcissist
Narcissists generally do not take breakups very well. They will try to spin the situation to make you look bad. They might even become angry or try to guilt trip you into staying. Be prepared for any reaction and stay true to your decision. Do not fall for their tactics and do not allow them to manipulate you into staying in a relationship that is not working.
It is obvious that the narcissist would not sit still knowing that you are breaking up, and they would try by all means to get you back. They would try to contact you from somebody else’s phone, they might visit places that you both used to visit, they might try to influence your family members to develop contact with you, and they might even scare you for financial matters, but do not get swayed and stick to your decision. Even handle your financial accounts, so that they cannot threaten to forfeit your money through your joint accounts.
4. Follow up through
Once you have sent the text message, it is important to follow through with your decision. Do not allow the narcissist to love-bomb you back into the relationship. Stick to your ideas and move forward with your life. Remember that you made this decision for a reason, and sticking to it will be the best thing for you in the long run.
5. Not falling for their tricks like hoovering, chasing, or reappearing
Narcissists try to hoover around their exes or anyone ghosting them and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. It can be really difficult to break up or ghost a narcissist as they can blackmail you, take revenge, or hoover around for a long period of time. They do this because they do not want to lose control over their source of supply. And also it is always difficult to date a narcissist due to their anger issues and unhealthy behavior so they have to be dependent on a lot of people to get their supply.
Hoovering is always intended for the emotional ex-partner that a narcissist tries to regain. It is the vulnerabilities that the narcissist takes advantage of. They would try to remind you of them by their glimpses and presence.
Narcissists are experts at getting revenge. When you try to go no contact with them, they would find the means to hurt you. They would be so worked up about them losing their grip and control of you that they might affirmatively seek revenge. They can try to make you jealous by immediately finding a new partner and showing you that they have already moved past you.
There are many ways to reappear that they can resort to, they might lure you by making you vulnerable for physical intimacy, they would send you presents like flowers, chocolates, or anything dear to you to remind you that they still care for you or they would wait for their chance until your anger melts and you give up the no contact thing.
6. Take time to work on yourself after the breakup
Emotional, Mental, and physical Healing becomes very important when you depart ways with a narcissist. A narcissistic relationship tends to deteriorate your mental, physical, and emotional health along with decreasing your confidence, willpower to live, and the simple joys of life.
Signs you are Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
- You can smell the freedom
- You look happy and healthy
- You can reminiscence your good old habits
- You start enjoying your own company and your attitude toward life changes
- Your life starts seeming carefree
- Your smile does not leave your face
- You become social again
- You become more confident with life
- Physical and mental health issues tend to disappear
- You start feeling all the emotions
- You allow yourself time to heal and feel the grief
In Conclusion
Breaking up with a narcissist can be difficult, but following these steps and using these text message samples might help you to stay true to your decision and move forward with your life. Remember, you deserve to be happy and in a healthy, loving relationship. Do not let the narcissist hold you back and stay strong on your decision.
Breaking up with the narcissist is your way of saying “Just Not Anymore” to the narcissistic abuse, the violence if in case, the manipulative tactics, and being used as a pawn. It is difficult or almost impossible to win against a narcissist through words, or with fights or verbal arguments, but you can win by going contactless, and reachless. This is how you fight against a narcissist when you are totally done with them.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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