How Long Does A New Narcissist Relationship Last? (& What Reasons Do They Give For Breakup?)

by Ella Carrillo · March 12, 2023

How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last? Narcissistic relationships change with the weather you can say. But not in all cases. Though some narcissists choose to stick with someone they really like, not most narcissists do so. Narcissists love to keep it fresh and charming when it comes to their relationships.

So by this time after reading it till here you might be having many questions like, “How is it to be in a relationship with a narcissist?”, “Do Narcissists Leave you for Another Person?”, “How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last?”, “How often do narcissists switch their relationships?” and many more. So let us get going further and know the answers to these questions.

How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last?

Falseness, lack of trust, breach of commitments, and disloyalty are some of the narcissistic traits that are an integral part of their character and personality. They even have control issues and so they can’t control their nasty desires, materialistic needs, and physical intimacy needs. They may leave you when they find someone better than you or for fulfilling their magnified needs for lovemaking. To fulfill their empty and shallow life, narcissists gain attention, praise, and whatever they need to present their grandiosity of life. So if they are getting all of these needs fulfilled by someone else in a better manner they might leave you.

Narcissists can be the most self-centered beings sometimes and one of the most amazing beings but ultimately all relations they have or every relationship with them is just about them and their benefits. If it benefits a narcissist until then only they would be helping you out, considering you important, or would give weightage to you otherwise, they just forget that you even matter. They can make you feel that you seldom make a difference in their life, or your existence is transactional, and would completely ignore you when they are done with you.

The period of narcissist relationships depends on how the narcissistic individual is and how long can they be with someone. What is it do they find in their relations interesting? and many more such factors. But precisely to know the answer to the question, “How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last?”; one needs to know answers to these questions first by involving and asking the narcissist that you are to be dating,

1. How long did the prior relationships of the narcissist last?

Narcissists are people who follow a certain pattern of dating or have an autopilot dating cycle. They are creatures of habit, so if the first attempt at a relationship does not work out with someone, they might repeat the same dating cycle with the next person too. So by this calculation, you can know for how long would they be willing to have a relationship with you. Let us know more about the Narcissist dating cycle which may help you determine the period of narcissistic relationships.

What is the dating cycle of narcissists?

There are 3 phases of dating a Narcissist:

1. Attraction or Idealization Phase

The Attraction or Idealization phase is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target or their victims for obtaining their supply.

2. Devaluation Phase

Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. This is the phase when they would suck the positivity out of you and drain you.

3. Discard Phase or Rejection Phase

The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. This is the phase when they usually start cheating on you or probably leave you for someone else and this cycle keeps on repeating like it’s a loop. In this, they degrade or devalue you like from the most important person in their life to the least important person.

They would be so into you at the beginning of the relationship that they would idolize you, then when they have your trust they would start the devaluation phase where they isolate you and make you completely involved just with them making you almost dependent and then they treat you like you were never important once their purpose is done with you. Their initial commitments and promises are so fake but seem real. But they are just for the namesake as narcissists never carry through them. They gaslight you, make you feel at fault and you might even doubt your sanity.

When a narcissist feels that they have lost interest or you might be thinking of moving forward, they would drop breadcrumbs in the form of love-bombed sweet texts, emojis, comments, or even calls, just to lure you back in. They would have hidden, trustworthy, coy, selfish agendas behind breadcrumbing you.

2. How long were they happy in their prior relationships with their ex-partner?

A successful relationship can be measured on the basis of how happy the partners were in the relationship. So according to this, if a relationship is long and lasting but the partners are unhappy with each other then such a relationship cannot be termed as the best or a successful relationship. To make the relationship work amazingly well, happiness seems to be the prime factor. So knowing for how the narcissist was happy in their prior relationship becomes important to make your relationship with them last.

It is during the devaluation phase, that the narcissist starts losing interest in you. Narcissists even get easily bored and dissatisfied with their partner, once they feel their source of supply has been drained, so they might leave you for another person sooner or later. Narcissists do not have empathy leading them to completely ignore another person’s emotions and prioritize their nasty desires over their partner’s feelings.

They might cheat on you or leave you for another person when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains; these can be some of the most common reasons why narcissist would cheat on you.

3. For how long can a Narcissist stay in a relationship?

Maybe narcissists have a different definition of love or relationships or they are different in their approach to commitments. As their relationships are based on transactions (i.e until they can gain from you)they may not willingly try or would never truly understand the normal meaning of love as you may perceive and expect. They may love you in the way that they understand love.

If you are willing to accept their terms of love then you can have a sustainable relationship with a narcissist. You may also not reach a dating stage sometimes with a narcissist where love or emotional bonding is required as narcissists are incapable of having long-term relationships. While in some cases you might fully commit to a narcissist and they might also do the same and get married, but many times the relationship might not turn out as you expected it to turn up.

The duration of a narcissistic relationship completely relies on each different individual. As every narcissist varies depending on various factors and circumstances like low self-esteem, the ways and surroundings while they were being brought up, family members that surround them, their desire to involve with other people without many selfish reasons, loneliness, and much more.

As long as you are trying to cope with all the abuse and toxicity of the relationship with the narcissistic partner, the relationship might function smoothly, with you making almost all sacrifices, keeping your voice down, following the narcissist most of the time, learning to live with toxicity on several intervals, have enough narcissistic supply, ignoring all the red flags, develop a coping mechanism against the narcissist, try to be happy as often as possible, neglect all the flaws of a narcissist, just keep enduring their toxicity but giving them the taste of their medicine from time to time then you are good to go with the happy relationship with a narcissist.

Can narcissist relationships be long-term?

Can you plan to spend your life with a narcissist? A lack of empathy makes it difficult for a narcissist to genuinely devote themselves to their partner. They continuously fear real feelings, as they think they might lose their power and love can make them weak. Narcissists hate weakness as power, control, money, supply, and competency are all they love. Narcissists may not know or do not want to acknowledge the concept of love as their relationships are completely based on receiving their supply be it with multiple partners.

Contemplating a relationship with a narcissist

A relationship with a narcissist might feel equal in the initial stages, but during the later stages, it might feel like you are the only giver in the relationship as they only receive and give very less. They take you as a negligible take. You might always be acting as their support, but they would be MIA(Missing in action) while you need them. Having a relationship with a narcissist is difficult because they would disregard your presence in their life until they need you.

Dating a narcissist is very puzzling as you cannot figure at what stage you are at while dating them. You cannot put all pieces of a puzzle together while dating a narcissist as their behavior is different every time you try to approach them.

When they are in a good mood and happy after obtaining a supply from you they would be appreciating your presence in their life, but as soon as you try to prove them wrong or put your thought forward, they would be arrogant and you would not hear from them for days. So you are often confused about whether to continue dating them, move on to the next step and commit to the relationship by asking them to commit to you or just run away from the relationship.

How to make relationships last longer when you are dating a narcissist?

When you are dating a narcissist, the first step is to know what you are getting into exactly! Knowing more about narcissists, their thinking patterns, their nature, their approach to commitments, and their understanding of the feelings like love, empathy, understanding, compassion, and much more. Knowing more about a narcissist, about narcissism, and ways to deal with a narcissist can be beneficial to make the relationship with the narcissist last longer. Knowing more about Narcissism can help you understand your NPD individuals or anybody with NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder) better. This is the best and utmost way to cope with a narcissistic person.

What reasons do Narcissists give for Breakup?

There are a few reasons for a narcissist to break up with you of which are mentioned below,

1. When you are no longer able to provide them with what they desire from the relationship with you

Narcissists even get easily bored and dissatisfied with their partner, once they feel their source of supply has been drained, so they might leave you for another person sooner or later. Narcissists do not have empathy leading them to completely ignore another person’s emotions and prioritize their nasty desires over their partner’s feelings.

2. When they feel they feel things are getting boring and the relationship has lost the initial charm

Narcissists cheat on you or break up with you when the narcissist feels that the charm and chase are over, the excitement and lust are gone, and the purpose (whatever they have been using you for like money, physical intimacy, just to cop with their former breakup or a fresh supply) is over, and they finally can no longer use you for their gains; these can be some of the most common reasons why narcissist would cheat on you.

They can get easily bored with you and might find someone out of boredom just for having some fun, and thus cheat on their current partner.

3. When they sense the fear of being confronted

Narcissists are so demanding, and it is very stressful to be around them. When you are new to the world of dating a narcissist or being committed to them, you are merely adjusting or struggling to find yourself comfortable around them. As in the initial stages, you do not know why a person behaves so or if such behavior is normal. It becomes strenuous to continue the relationship in such a manner, as narcissists are so difficult to handle.

So you start digging in the dirt and start to find solutions, find reasons for their uncommon behavior, the reasons for their toxic personality and traits, and much more. It is only in the later stages of being with them you realize that they have created a false facade for their personality which is keeping their real toxic personality intact.

When you know the ugly truth about the narcissist and their narcissistic personality disorder, the first step you want to do is confront them, break the relationship with them, stop falling victim to their mind games, tell others about their nasty reality, and make them repent for their irreversible deeds. So to stop you from confronting, the narcissist would choose to break up with you first rather than being exposed.

4. When they find someone better than their current partner who is full of narcissistic supply

Narcissists have a tendency to use people for their needs and desires. They just seek attention and control. So when they feel a lack of narcissistic supply from you, they may cheat on you with someone who is full of narcissistic supply. (Supply here refers to giving them attention, praising their accomplishments, providing a sense of entitlement and validation whether it is positive or negative, providing special treatment, meeting their needs and demands, and making them the center of your world.)

5. When they realize that they are entitled to be in a relationship with someone better than their current relationship

Narcissists have an elevated sense of entitlement which makes them feel superior and allows them to behave as they wish without considering anyone’s feelings. Sometimes their conduct may even cross the social bounds of society. They are desire-driven beings who let their desires, lust, and pleasure control them.

Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

How Long Does A New Narcissist Relationship Last? (& What Reasons Do They Give For Breakup?)

How long does a new Narcissist Relationship last?