How Do Narcissists Treat Their Friends? (Do Narcissists Have Friends?)
If you are also wondering, Do Narcissists Have Friends? How do Narcissists treat their Friends? or Can anyone be friends with a Narcissist, then cease your search here, as this article will guide you about Narcissist friends and friendships, the friendship possibilities of a narcissist, and how a friend is usually treated by a narcissist.
How Do Narcissists Treat their Friends? – The answer is not uncanny, it is inferior, nasty, adverse, and all the other words that are synonyms for these words. Not always a narcissist is all bad, but their true nature does reveal every time you try to take a step back, or even try to ignore them or try to against them.
Narcissists might try or fake that they care about their friends, but in reality, all they care is about their needs, priorities, feelings, and concerns. They are primarily associated with self-praise, their accomplishments, their supply (supply is mostly associated with a person who falls victim to a narcissist person and their tactics to keep you in their lives), and everything about them.
You can wave to them, speak with them at work when you must, have brief social interactions—but narcissists cannot be friends. Friendship requires trust, time and empathy.
Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi
As suggested by Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi, a clinical expert on Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), it is better if you limit your interactions with a narcissist as they lack mutual efforts, feelings, and time for what it takes to be called a proper friendship.
They cannot think outside the box in terms of feelings like empathy, care, friendship, or relationship unless it is according to or in their interest or favor. So if you expect equal company from a narcissist, then you might be proven wrong, as friendship with a narcissist might be limited to their benefits, their interests, their praise, and all about them most of the time. If you have a narcissistic friend, you might feel like a side character in your story of lies. Unless you see their positives, ignore their negatives, and make some compromises on your part, a friendship with a narcissist might or might not be in your favor.
Unless and until narcissists need some favor or need your help, they might not even remember your existence in their life as a friend.
How Do Narcissists Treat Their Friends?
Let us know about this question deeply, with some points that are mentioned below,
- If it is in their interest they are there for you
- Expect some vexatious expectations of you from them
- They always come to you with a Sense of Entitlement
- Do not expect deep meaningful conversations from them
- Do not expect them to show up when you need them
- They suck all the positivity from you
- They make you feel mentally exhausted
- Expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit
- Be ready for some unexplainable blame games
- Jealousy is always their first reaction to anything new in your life
According to mental health experts and psychologists, there are generally three major traits that define a narcissistic personality in a being suffering from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). So if you come across any type you know how to recognize their traits. The three traits are as mentioned below,
Grandiose (Unconcealed Type) – This type of narcissistic personality displays an unconcealed act of aggression openly and struggles to hide their aggression socially.
Covert (Dainty Type) – This type of narcissistic personality does not display any symptoms openly but is closely associated with mental health issues in terms of anxiety and depression.
Show-off (Extravagant Type) – This is the least recognizable type as they do not show or possess any of the above mentioned symptoms, but only act self-centered, exploit others and take advantage in certain situations like a failure or loss.
Now coming back to the main topic of discussion, How Do Narcissists Treat Their Friends?; let us discuss in detail the points and know which type of Narcissistic personality are you, friends, with indeed!
A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships, thus they can not be an ideal friend for you.
1. If it is in their interest they are there for you
Narcissists are the most self-centered beings and every relationship you have with them is just about them and their benefits. If it benefits a narcissist then they would be helping you out, otherwise, they just forget that you even exist in their friend list. They can make you feel as if you never mattered in their life, and would completely ignore your mere existence, until and unless it is in their interest.
For example, if you ask a narcissist for some help, they would only agree if they have any upcoming favors to ask you in return. Otherwise, they would simply turn you down with their varied and believable list of excuses.
2. Expect some vexatious expectations of you from them
Narcissists have very unreasonable expectations from you as a friend and might not even be thankful or grateful for whatever you might try. They might ask for unreasonable favors and when you deny due to any reasonable reason they would not even understand you in return would even might curse you.
For instance, they would ask you for favors like dropping you picking you off, or even getting groceries or any such petty task in the middle of the day without giving a consideration to your schedule. And when you turn them down, would just lash out at you. If you ignore their demands they would just get angry at you and might even humiliate you.
3. They always come to you with a Sense of Entitlement
The sense of deservingness makes it difficult for a friend to deal with a narcissist. They always feel they deserve your time or owe you favors for giving you their time. They feel they deserve everything special, and nothing less. This habit of entitlement does not allow them to look at the efforts that you are putting in for them. When you do not make them feel special they just ignore you. They have their own little cocoon of false entitlement in which they are comfortable and do not wish to step out.
4. Do not expect deep meaningful conversations from them
If you are such a person who likes to discuss life, future plans, self-betterment plans, or any meaningful plans do not keep a narcissist as a friend. As Narcissists have no interest in discussing anything that is not to their benefit. They would barely have any input for you plus they would even degrade your idea making you look like a shallow person. They would ignore or not attend any conversation that might create intimacy.
For instance, they always meet whenever they have any problem to solve with your input, and would not even ask any questions about you, making everything just about themselves. They would not even be interested in knowing your well-being. So it is just better not to expect deep meaningful conversations from them as they would be hardly beneficial to you. Just shallow, surface-level conversations are a narcissist’s thing.
5. Do not expect them to show up when you need them
If you are in need of some urgent help or have a favor to ask for, do not expect a Narcissist to show up as their self-centered nature would not allow them to help out of courtesy. If you are going through a rough patch in life, even then do not expect a narcissistic friend to show up and provide a comforting shoulder. They are not someone you can rely on during hard times. Unless helping you may provide them any benefit or is in their interest, a narcissist would not show up due to their lack of understanding of other people’s feelings.
6. They suck all the positivity from you
Dealing with a Narcissist friend can be draining both mentally and physically as they expect you to be always present for them but they are never there for you. Additionally, if you forcefully ask them for helping you, they would not hesitate to bad-mouth you, talk behind your back, also not help instead might also spoil your work, which can be draining both mentally and physically.
They have high levels of self-importance, self-esteem, and overconfidence, and also expect a Sense of Entitlement from you always. They would never be positive about your ideas, your thoughts, or your feelings nor they would support you in any such hard situation which can drain positivity out of you too. As being with them, may also affect you and at a certain point, you may also lose hope which creates negativity in life.
7. They make you feel mentally exhausted
Narcissists have two faces that they wear all the time, Admiration seeking and Rivalry seeking. The admiration-seeking face is put up all the time by most narcissists. They always make everything about themselves which can be mentally exhausting for you.
When you try to detach yourself from a narcissist or do anything which is not according to them or in their favor, that’s when they reveal their Rivalry-seeking face. When you ignore a narcissist that’s when they start deceiving and gaslighting you. They play many blame games with you and send you on a guilt trip as soon as you withdraw. Such behavior can make you feel mentally exhausted.
8. Expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit
Ghosting or gaslighting you can be the topmost priority for a Narcissist once their purpose with you is completed. When a narcissist feels they can no longer take advantage of you or from you, that’s when they break their friendship with you. So, be ready mentally to expect an abrupt break to your friendship as they only serve the purpose until their benefit.
For instance, if you might have to shift residence somewhere far else, they might no longer continue their friendship with you, or might call you or text you when they need you. As they would think, you would no longer be helpful to them due to the change of place. So instead of helping you to move, they would try to gaslight you or just abruptly break contact.
9. Be ready for some unexplainable blame games
After losing control over you or your friendship when you no longer want to be friends with them, a Narcissist would try all sorts of techniques to gain back control over you and the situation. One such technique includes humiliating you at the cost of your mental peace. Embarrassing you in front of a crowd or the people you might be acquainted with or your group would be one of the ways utilized by a Narcissist to get back their control.
They might crack mean jokes, might also expose all your secrets, or might use you as an imaginary punch back with their humiliating punches in the face. A Narcissist can be as direct as possible, they even might point fingers at you and might also call you names.
10. Jealousy is always their first reaction to anything new in your life
When you meet new people or achieve anything in life which changes your behavior towards a narcissistic friend, that’s when jealousy steps in. As you make new friendships or relationships, you would not be able to spend all your time with a narcissist which makes them jealous.
They would never show that they are jealous, but their behavior would change drastically and instead of being happy, they would rather curse you out of jealousy. When anything new happens in your life, they might not pay attention or think ill of you as they are not able to achieve that as they consider themselves the smartest among all.
Unless and until narcissists need some favor or need your help, they might not even remember your existence in their life as a friend.
Conclusion
You can wave to them, speak with them at work when you must, and have brief social interactions—but narcissists cannot be friends. Friendship requires trust, time, and empathy. – Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi
As suggested by Dr. Linda Martinez – Lewi, a clinical expert on Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), it is better if you limit your interactions with a narcissist as they lack mutual efforts, feelings, and time for what it takes to be called a proper friendship.
A Narcissist person craves attention all the time, lacks care and empathy, can be rude and blunt, ignores other people’s feelings, and has troubled relationships, thus they can not be an ideal friend for you. But if you still have to put up with them, or bear with them somehow you may create boundaries, be direct about what you need and expect from them, put your thoughts and feelings with a strong head, do not feel guilty unless your mistake, make new friends who really cheer you, seek help if you have to and maintain a certain and safe distance with a Narcissist. Doing all this may secure your mental peace and happiness.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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