10+ Obvious Examples of Narcissist Text Messages And How to Respond?

by Ella Carrillo · November 6, 2024

Let us dig into this article to know some obvious examples of Narcissist Text Messages and also know how to respond to them. You are texting someone and in one moment they make you feel special while at another just disregard your presence. Then beware of such a person, because you might be texting a Narcissist.

Associating with a narcissist is itself challenging. You have to keep up with their unrealistic expectations, their tantrums, toxicity, and peculiar traits. One such thing is texting with a narcissist. They can just quill you in their words, dishonest actions and an artificial made-up would of their own.

To know more about Narcissist Text Messages, we need to know some narcissist text habits, their thinking pattern, and how they make you feel! So let us know further.

Narcissist text habits

There are three phases of dating a narcissist and the text pattern is different for all three, (This is the reference for when you are dating a narcissist)

1. Attraction or Idealization Phase

The Attraction or Idealization phase is the step where they spot you and grab your attraction, like spotting a target for obtaining their supply. So this is the stage where they text you often, to lure you. This is the stage where the love bombing starts. They would be sweet as Pie. In this stage you can be their victim easily, so beware of such sweet but toxic texts.

2. Devaluation Phase

Once they gain your complete trust, this is when they start playing with your feelings and thoughts by using their manipulative tactics. This is the phase when they would suck the positivity out of you and drain you. They would make you feel guilty about things you have not even done.

Their texts would be manipulative and vague. They would only text when they have some task for you. They would use you for getting things done immediately. They would keep you o your toes and only text when they really need something. Other than that they would often reply late, not reply often, or leave you on seen.

3. Discard Phase or Rejection Phase

The Discard phase is nothing but the time when a narcissist uses you completely until their satisfaction like their puppet, and when they no longer need you or find someone else they just discard you like something unimportant. This is the phase when the text turns into nightmares. They would start ghosting you, gaslighting you, making you feel miserable, ignored, and questioning your own self.

Narcissists would either be texting too much or no texts at all. Sometimes it’s a long paragraph often manipulative, deceptive, or accusing sentences; while sometimes it’s just a word reply like K, hmm, ok, .., thumbs-up, or something of this sort.
It is like when they are interested or need you the text lengths are more, and replies are quick and overwhelming, but when you need them they are not there often or would text just like they are completely uninterested and make small talk.

So what about when you are friends with a narcissist, Text habits of narcissist friends(This is the reference for when you are friends with a narcissist)
- They would often call or text you asking for several favors.
- They would often text the half-truth of something or would send some confusing texts that might leave you perplexed wondering what went wrong.
- They would have short conversations which would not involve any emotions or emojis, just direct plain pointy texts.
- Small talk is their deal.

General narcissist text habits, (This is the reference for when you are acquainted or are associated with a narcissist somehow- Work colleagues, far-fetched family member, or someone just acquainted with a narcissist)
- Sometimes they would send so many texts sometimes no texts or texts when favors are to be exchanged.
- They would often send confusing texts.
- Their texts are often exhausting.

Now, Let us know some obvious Examples of Narcissist Text Messages,

Note that narcissist text messages or style may differ a little as each individual is different so a unique style of text messaging is expected. But a few texts and text styles are common among all narcissists and these may change depending upon the situations ad circumstances and also with your relationship with them. So let us keep reading.

Small talk is their deal
Leaving you to read
Negative texts
Baffling texts
Mentally draining texts
Immoderate amount of texts
Gaslighting
Love Bombing Texts
Demanding Texts
Keeping you on your toes Texts
Insulting Texts
Toxicity

1. Small talk is their deal

Narcissists are emotionally unavailable individuals who always make everything about themselves. When you share anything with them they would be least interested unless it benefits them, when you discuss a problem or your suffering they would make it about themselves and reply with, “I have enough on my plate already, so please do not burden me with your problems too.” They will always close the topic or leave it hanging with small talk. Dealing with a Narcissist can be draining both mentally and physically as they expect you to be always present for them but they are never there for you.

2. Leaving you to read

Narcissists come to you when they need you, other than that they do not make any effort to reach you or even reply to whatever you have to ask. Expect slow texts or no texts from a narcissist. Narcissists always take their partners, friends, or anyone that cares for them for granted.

First, they lure you, then make you care for them, and when you get too much involved with them, they get bored of you or you become bothersome for them. So that’s when they start to leave you to read and not reply to their texts often. When a narcissist does not want to answer something and you keep bugging them about that, that is also when they keep you to read.

3. Negative texts

Narcissists are the least motivating people because they are jealous of your achievements, they hardly care for you, they avoid everything that has nothing to do with them, they would always discourage you, and are hardly positive about any of your ideas. For instance, whenever you talk about your future plans, they would say, “We should live in the Present”, “Leave tomorrow, let us focus on today!”, “Are you sure you want to do that?”, “I don’t think you know much about that, give it a second thought”. They would try to suppress your ideas or sabotage the situation by discussing something related to them.

4. Baffling texts

They would often text the half-truth of something or would send some confusing texts that might leave you perplexed wondering what went wrong. Such texts are meant to deceive you or hide reality. Their texts can be hot and intriguing when they want to lure you, but the texts might be cold as a cucumber sometimes.

For instance, when they crave some intimacy with you, they would text you like, “Come to my place, let us watch Netflix and chill” disregarding the fact that you might be busy. They would call and text repetitively. But when you do the same they would text back like, “Do you even sense that I am busy working, do not call or text me when I am working!“. Leaving you baffled is a narcissistic trait.

5. Mentally draining texts

Drama is a narcissist’s jam. They often exaggerate situations more than it is in reality. Being the center of attraction can only be achieved by drama than be it at the cost of your mental peace. They would never be positive about your ideas, your thoughts, or your feelings nor they would support you in any such hard situation which can drain positivity out of you too. Being with them may also affect you and at a certain point, you may also lose hope which creates negativity in life.

For instance, they always leave texts like “We need to talk”, and “I am done with you” more often after minor inconveniences with you. When something bad happens to you, they would say, “You deserved this” or “Karma has its ways of coming back at you”.

6. Immoderate amount of texts

Narcissists would either be texting too much or no texts at all. Sometimes it’s a long paragraph often manipulative, deceptive, or accusing sentences; while sometimes it’s just a word reply like K, hmm, ok, .., thumbs-up, or something of this sort. For example when you would be busy and not replying to them then they would be sending multiple texts like “Hey! Let’s catch up”, “What are you doing?”, “Why are you not replying?”, “Are you cheating on me?”, “Why can’t I reach you?” and so on. They will be sending an immoderate amount of texts.

7. Gaslighting

They would just twist the reality of the situation. Narcissists would be abusive and irrational but would never accept it rather than keep denying such facts. When you point at their mistakes they would tell you things like, “Stop acting all paranoid”, “Dont overreact to little things”, or “You sound crazy”. When in reality you would not be wrong but instead they would prove that the problem is with you and not them.

8. Love Bombing Texts

When they want to lure you they would be sending all complimenting texts like, “You are beautiful”, “You understand me so well”, “You are sweet as Pie”, and “I need someone like you in my life”, they would say all such things that you want to hear without giving much meaning to that in the later phases of your relationship. They would manipulate you emotionally. Love Bombing happens usually in the attraction phase where they text you often, to lure you. This is the stage where the love bombing starts. They would be sweet as Pie. In this stage you can be their victim easily, so beware of such sweet but toxic texts.

9. Demanding Texts

A narcissist would often make irrational demands. They would force you to help them even if you are busy or do not wish to help them. For instance, they would text you in the middle of the night “Come pick me up at the airport, I am waiting for you.”,. They would text in like “Get groceries for me or cook something for me”, “Lend me some money I will pay back asap”. Whereas in return they would never come to pick you up anytime, would not meet your demands, or just forget your money. A Narcissist just knows how to receive and not return.

10. Keeping you on your toes Texts

Narcissists always want quick replies from you even though they never do so. When a narcissist plan out something, wants something from you or needs favors, they would be asking several questions like, “When can I expect this from you?, “Can you do this for me?”, “Why can’t you do this much for me?”, “When are you giving this to me?”, “Why are you not replying?”, “With whom are you talking?”, “Why have you not replied to me yet?”, “Are you ghosting me?”. They have all sorts of conclusions in their mind without knowing the situation.

11. Insulting Texts

Narcissists would do and say anything when they are mad at you, one such technique includes humiliating you at the cost of your mental peace. Embarrassing you in front of a crowd or the people you might be acquainted with would be one of the ways utilized by a Narcissist to get back their control.

They might crack mean jokes, might also impose what they did for you once in all situations, call you names, and much more. For instance, “Dont forget the favor I did for you”, “You really do not deserve someone like me”, “I am too good for you” or “Consider yourself lucky, as I could do much better” or “I can date many people but I chose you so be grateful”.

12. Toxicity

Their texts are toxic when they want something from you. They can even blackmail you when you do not meet their demand. They would blackmail you with your pictures or any secrets you might have shared. So when you deny them something especially money or physical intimacy, they would use this as a weapon to jeopardize your trust in them and would use this against you. For instance, “Do this for me, and your secrets are safe with me.”

How to respond or deal with Narcissist Texts?

Believe in yourself and know yourself better and not in some flattery or insult that is spewed at you.
Respond without many reactions.
Keep the conversation short and up to the point.
Do not overthink, simply try to check in on reality.
Go with the gut feeling as your gut never lies. You might have some delusional feelings but do not lose your calm and stay focused.
Initially, a Narcissist might seem winning for some time, but eventually, you distance yourself from them by not meeting them, avoiding their texts and calls, or just breaking the bond.
Discuss your problems with someone who can actually help.

Conclusion

Believe in yourself, do not get riled up, do not believe anything easily, do not get fooled by flattery or insults, and just keep the conversations short with a narcissist.

Author
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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

10+ Obvious Examples of Narcissist Text Messages And How to Respond?