The Effects Of Living With A Narcissistic Sibling – 3 Ways To Deal With Them

by Ella Carrillo · February 19, 2024

A sibling relationship plays a crucial role in molding the life of a person, as siblings can be the people who can be your gratuitous supporters. But what if that sibling relationship turns into sibling rivalry or a bitter relationship? This article discusses the effects of living with a Narcissistic Sibling.

Sibling relationships are important for children’s healthy growth and development, but unhealthy relationships with siblings can negatively impact the family dynamics creating unhealthy relationships.

When you have a narcissistic sibling, the chances of unhealthy relationships among the siblings are high. Narcissistic siblings may be responsible for sibling rivalries and also affect interfamily relationships. Having narcissistic siblings can be detrimental to your mental and emotional health as you may suffer because of them.

A narcissistic sibling would make everything about them. You would end up being their mere shadow. Your achievements would be envied, your talents might be overshadowed by their fake entities or you may end up being the scapegoat of the family. They would always try to be the best at everything from being the favorite child to the parents, the adorable and worthy descend of the family, or the ideal child for society.

Thus living with a narcissistic sibling can have negative impacts on your life. Narcissistic sibling relationships can be toxic and damaging. Thus to identify the narcissistic siblings, here are some characteristics,

Narcissistic Sibling Characteristics

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are often characterized by an amplified need for adoration, validation, and attention. They prioritize themselves over others and thus have a boosted sense of self-importance. They require praise and are extremely arrogant, selfish, and egoistic. While these are the traits displayed by overt narcissists, some narcissists possess these tendencies but refrain from pompous displays and are termed covert narcissists.

Let us know a few generic characteristics of a narcissistic sibling,

They feel entitled

Narcissistic siblings feel entitled to your time, money, energy, and resources but they never reciprocate the same. They may never acknowledge anything that you may do for them as they believe that they are entitled to receive all of these.

You may be a mere source of narcissistic supply for them

You may be their closest and most accessible source of narcissistic supply as a sibling. They may want attention, adoration, and validation from you. Narcissists use other people to get praise.

They need to be the center of attention

Narcissistic siblings are attention seekers. Whatever you do, they may do it but also beat you in it. If you get a new house, they may get a bungalow, if you excelled in some exam they may be the topper. Thus they always need to be the center of attention stealing your spotlight.

They lack empathy and thus they do not care about your feelings

Narcissists lack empathy and thus they may never be able to connect emotionally with you. They would be jealous of your achievements. They would be bothered by your illness or stressed by your grief. They may hate when they have to suffer because of you. They may never understand you and your needs.

You are the scapegoat and they are the golden child

When you have a narcissistic sibling you become the scapegoat child who bears the blame for wrongdoings as your sibling is a narcissist and they believe that they are perfect and can never be wrong. They believe that they are the golden child and thus you end up being the victim of their manipulation.

They relish when you are in pain

You may be a victim of the narcissist sibling’s cruel name-calling, mockery, and devaluation. They would abuse you and be cruel to you on purpose. They may gaslight you and also victimize themselves in most situations.

The effects of living with a Narcissistic Sibling

Living with a narcissistic sibling can have a lasting and negative effect on your emotional and mental health. A narcissistic sibling may always manifest abuse, manipulation, and negativity in a sibling relationship thus creating a toxic and challenging atmosphere.

A narcissistic individual may be responsible for the strained relationship and dysfunctional family dynamics. They may often view you as a threat and may feel challenged by you. They may view you as a potential threat to their superiority and power.

So if you are raised with a narcissistic sibling, your mental and emotional health may require healing. Living with them can make you more tolerant of abuse, breaking your boundaries, being distrustful, or being reluctant to conflict.

There are a few more effects that are discussed below,

Distrust in Others

Narcissists usually lack trust and thus you may have to prove that you are trustworthy always as a sibling. They may be vulnerable and thus they may never trust you. Thus when you receive mistrust from others you may not be able to trust others easily.

They may betray you in every possible situation if it does not benefit them, and thus you may have trust issues. It can be tough to trust others when all you have received is betrayal. They may be super friendly in one instance and can be your biggest enemy in the other.

Thus trusting may become an issue for you. All in all, you may distrust others too as you have not been trusted by your loved ones.

Lack of stability in the Family

The narcissist may be the golden child of your family and thus you may feel left out, misunderstood, and lacking. Thus you may never feel that you fit in the family dynamics at all.

All you may ever feel is being betrayed, left out, compared, and mistreated. Due to a narcissistic sibling, you may always be compared with them and there may be a constant competitive environment in the family with your parents pushing you to achieve as your narcissistic sibling.

Even during a conflict between you and your narcissistic sibling, the narcissist may force everyone to defend them blaming you.

Thus due to such a behavior, you may feel that you do not fit in the family and the family lacks emotional bond and stability. Even your sibling relationship might be disrupted.

Desire to avoid criticism, conflict, and confrontation

You may become a conflict-averse if you have a narcissistic sibling. Getting into situations that may require confrontation or criticizing your narcissistic sibling can lead to a dreadful aftermath.

Narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism and confrontations. They may take it as an insult, which may leave them feeling offended and this may result into which is a typical narcissistic behavior that may cause them narcissistic injury.

The way your narcissistic sibling reacts or responds to narcissistic injury is cruel. They may devalue you and might mistreat you as if you are inhuman. Their behavior may cause lifelong trauma for you. You may be objectified as something useless and worthless when you criticize or confront your narcissistic sibling.

This pattern of abuse may continue for years from your childhood until now, and thus impact you negatively. You may always fear confronting and criticizing others and thus end up suffering.

You may be so afraid to bear the consequences of confrontation and criticism that you may never do it even with your bosses, friends, neighbors, colleagues, or anyone who may have ulterior motives for you.

This happens as your mind remembers how you may treated an ill-treatment if you confront or criticize due to your narcissistic sibling and thus this may become your defense mechanism to avoid confrontations and criticizing others.

Immoderately tolerant of abuse

With a narcissist in the family, you may be so tolerant of abuse and you may find it normal when people abuse you, use you, mock you, drain you, or devalue you because that is what you have been facing with a narcissistic sibling around.

With a narcissistic sibling around, you may be walking on eggshells to not offend them. This might have become an unconscious part of your behavioral technique and thus it might have become a normal behavior for you.

Bearing devaluing comments, mockery, shaming, or any other form of verbal abuse may have become normal for you as you may be facing it regularly with a narcissistic sibling.

Growing up with a narcissistic sibling can bond you in a trauma bond that may be a result of constant manipulation. They might hurt you and then be extra friendly to reinforce positivity. This cycle may continue and thus you may be used to such a behavior.

Narcisists often tend to break boundaries invade your personal space, and drag you into their manipulative tactics. Thus you may get used to such abusive behavior that it might seem normal to you.

You may be unaware of the world that exists without abuse, manipulation, and toxicity as you may be immoderately used to such behavior.

Lack of Nurturing Relationships

Due to the constant trauma that you may have to face because of a narcissistic sibling, your mind might subconsciously develop a defense mechanism and you may have become a caregiver as you might have not received the warmth and love from relationships around you.

You might have become the nurturer in relationships as you may always be the one healing yourself and others. You may also be used by others as you may always be there for them healing them. But you may never receive the same treatment from others and thus you may lack nurturing relationships around you when you have a narcissistic family member.

3 Ways to Deal with a Narcissistic Sibling

Dealing with a narcissistic sibling may take a toll on your mental health and it might seem like an impossible task to form a warm bond with them. You may be a victim to their constant manipulations and abuse and thus you must learn to protect yourself from the unhealthy environment.

Thus here are 3 ways that can help you deal and cope with them efficiently,

Seeking help from others

It is emotionally and mentally draining when you have a narcissistic sibling in your life. You need to vent out and discuss the pent-up emotions, hurt, neglect, rejection, toxicity abandonment issues, and all your suffering with someone. This way you can let go of the agony you have been holding up till now.

You can let go of the trauma by seeking help from people who care about you and also find ways to cope with the narcissist by getting some professional help.

Do not hesitate to reach out to friends and family for emotional support and also join some social groups, or join some communities or therapy groups that help in healing and dealing with trauma. You may also join a prayer if you are a believer. You may also seek help from therapists and mental health experts in such cases. You may also seek online therapies, learn more about narcissism, and teach yourself through the internet or some self-help books.

Set Limits on what you will do for them

The best way to cope with a narcissistic sibling is to set limits to what you might do for them as narcissists are beings who might seek as much advantage as possible from other people, which even includes family members. They are selfish and thus they might not think twice before taking benefits and using a family member if required.

You may not be able to control their behavior but you can always control their behavior instead. One aspect of setting limits is to determine the tolerance of their toxic behavior.

A narcissistic sibling might slowly and gradually take over the entire control and attention towards them, they may become extremely demanding, insulting, obstinate, and violate the family rules which may disturb the family dynamics.

Thus it becomes important to decide a tolerance level, so that when their behavior extends certain limits of your tolerance you may immediately take an action by either ignoring them or by not co-operating with them.

Focus on your choices more along with theirs

When you live with a narcissistic sibling, every situation or every move is about them. They choose what they want but also what you would want. They think they are somehow smarter than you and can make better choices. Thus they would force their decisions and choices on you disregarding your choices.

So choose for yourself and perceive what you wish. When you live with a narcissistic sibling, you often lose your individuality because everything is about them. So change that and make choices that are good for both of you.

Do not disregard their choices though, just listen to them but do as you wish. This way it may not upset them and also allow you to make decisions for yourself.

In Conclusion

The most important tip is that practice self-care and employ coping tactics when you deal with a Narcissistic sibling.

Involve yourself in self-care. Celebrate your little victories, discuss or reach out to your parents about this, get help from loved ones, consult a therapist, be grateful for what you have rather than what it is not, sleep well, eat well, stay with friends, be positive, and live well.

A narcissistic sibling is a part of your family and no doubt you love them despite their nasty personality, abuse, and trauma they give you, you need your safe space where you can disconnect from their trauma and negativity from time to time.

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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

The Effects Of Living With A Narcissistic Sibling – 3 Ways To Deal With Them