Do Narcissists Care About Their Family? (Truth Revealed)
Do Narcissists care about their Family? We are well aware of narcissists and their true nature of being self-centered. So now the question arises, can narcissists care about anybody else except themselves? Is family as important to them, or do they just focus on themselves and do not care about their families? Let us find out further in the article.
Understanding a Narcissist
Narcissists are someone who is often characterized and peculiar regarding their trait of being self-absorbed. They hardly think about others. They always prioritize their own self and their needs above others. They have a high sense of self-importance, so much so that they might even ignore their own children or their own parents. They even tend to ignore their life partners too, in some cases. Thus it can be concluded, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes.
Do Narcissists Care About Their Family?
After concluding, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes, another field where they lack is a lack empathy; meaning they can never truly understand anybody else’s emotions and emotional responses. They do not understand other people’s perspectives as they are just focused on themselves and their perceptions. They might not even know how others would feel regarding their behavior, or how their simplest ill-mannered or impolite acts may affect others and may leave the deepest scars. Narcissists cannot care for anyone, but themselves, thus they do not tend to care for others or understand them. Thus they have straining relationships with family, friends, or anyone engaged with them.
Having said that not all narcissists exhibit the same behavior. Not all can be weighed on the same scale as the degree of narcissism varies for each individual. Not all narcissists have the same characteristics. Some Narcissists just pretend most of the time that they care for others, while all they care is about themselves which can be revealed through their actions. While some narcissists do care genuinely, they are unable to fulfill the needs of others and also do not know how to. Then there are those narcissistic individuals who genuinely care but would care half-heartedly for others as their traits and inner toxicity might refrain them from fully caring for others and dedicating themselves to caring for others.
Thus narcissists are capable to care for others, but some might not do it willingly, some do wish to but do not know how to, while some have both the will and skill to care for others yet would not care wholeheartedly due to their inner toxic voices. But then there are a few narcissists who would wholeheartedly care for others including their families too. But this does not last for a longer period of time. They switch immediately to their toxic selves after serving some of the needs of others.
So yes; narcissists can be caring for their family members in times of need. But do not expect they might know everything about how to care for someone as they lack empathy. Their ways to provide care may be totally different and might also feel useless many a time, but this is all you get when you expect help and care from a narcissist. They also understand the worth and privileges of having a family. Narcissists do care for their families, but there also may be some hidden agendas or propagation when a narcissist chooses to help out.
Now to gain deeper knowledge regarding narcissists and their relationship with family, one must try to understand the relationship of narcissistic individuals with their families, how narcissists perceive the idea of having a family or them being with family, reciprocating those familial relationships, and their complete ideology regarding the concept of family and mutual relations.
Why do Narcissists want to have a Family?
Narcissists surely love the idea of them having a family, but would they really care for their family? Narcissists love the idea of having a family because only a family can make a person feel worthy, loved, cared for, understood, and fulfilled as who you are. Family does not need you to be someone perfect or project yourself as someone worthy, family accepts you as the way you are.
Everyone can feel the most comfortable around their families, and thus narcissists also love the idea of family as they can stop pretending and pleasing and just be themselves at least for a while. Narcissists like the idea of family as they can obtain narcissistic supply without putting in much effort, manipulate them, can gain whatever they desire by just being their real selves do not need mirrored projections, and thus they need their families.
Narcissists desire to have a family for some major reasons like elevating their social image, obtaining their narcissistic supply, gaining power and control, etc. But narcissists may also desire love, care, and compassion from family members.
But what about the family members of the narcissists who have to bear with them? Narcissists promote that family is the most important for them, but it is not the same for the family members.
Narcissists can freely abuse their family members, and they cannot do anything much but bear the consequences of having a toxic narcissistic person in the family. They would abuse, manipulate and take utter advantage of the families too and thus narcissists love the idea of family, but family members might not appreciate the idea of having a narcissistic member, but they do bear them as the family is left with no choice but to bear.
There are three important aspects to remember regarding narcissists and families, which are as below,
- The first and foremost aspect is that narcissists are manipulators and they would not even spare their family members for that matter. They have a deep-rooted need for constant admiration, attention, and validation, thus only family can provide them with that without much hesitation.
- The second aspect is that narcissists perceive everyone around them as extensions of themselves. As narcissists thrive on validation, they perceive family members as a mere source for seeking validation and treat them in a similar manner. Thus they consider family members as a source of getting narcissistic rather than viewing them without any transactional value.
- The last and most important aspect to remember here about narcissists is that they lack empathy. So when anybody discusses family, the instant thought is love, understanding, care, and selfless sacrifices. But with narcissists it is not the case, narcissists do not understand all these terms and they view the relationships in their own terms which are most of the time transactional. A narcissist’s love is conditional thus they cannot really sympathize with anyone and cannot make a caring bond.
Do Narcissists understand the worth of having a family?
Narcissists just seem tough from the outside, but they are indeed scared and lonely from within. They constantly juggle between being super confident and a gloomy, undermined and highly doubted inadequate self. They have a constant fear that they might be disliked by others including family members or they might be repudiated by others if they do not maintain their grandiose self-image. So they do understand the worth of having a family as family is the only back support for them when everyone else leaves due to their toxic personality, but it is only family that remains even after knowing their true toxic personalities.
Narcissists can be caring and might display emotions in times of need. Not all narcissists lack emotions. Narcissists can function smoothly just because they have their family and supportive family members. So narcissists are also well aware of this fact and might not hesitate to help sometimes or in some cases where they feel there is no harm in helping or no one is challenging their ego. Narcissists can be extremely manipulative even with their family members, but they might choose to help when someone is unwell or in need of their care.
Narcissists usually lack care due to the lack of empathy, but they are well aware of the fact that this world runs on the concept of give and take and nobody can just survive only on the concept of taking. They also feel the need to help their family because they know that in their tough times, family members were the only people who really cared for them. Narcissists might lack emotional responses, but they are humans after all so they cannot be heartless completely.
Also in many cases, narcissists would just project or fake that they have the skills required to care for someone or they really care for someone, but in reality, it is totally different. They do not really be aware of how to care for someone and in what ways should they choose to start caring for someone. They might also be fake caring to receive something in return.
Thus they understand the worth and privileges of having a family. Narcissists do care for their families, but there also may be some hidden agendas or propagation when a narcissist chooses to help out.
How will Narcissists treat their children?
To narcissists, family members are a major source to procure their narcissistic supply, so even their children are a means of narcissistic supply for them. They control their children and treat them as their own extensions expecting them to behave like adults. Thus they expect their children to play all roles, rather than understanding that they are simply not adults, and they cannot fulfill each and every role of their narcissistic parents. Narcissists have very little to no patience at all, and thus they fail at providing for the needs of their children.
Sometimes parents unintentionally become toxic and interfere in your life, more than the required amounts as they wish to protect you from the evil world. But they do not realize that they are making the child’s life even more difficult than the rest of the world. Toxic relationships are where no boundaries are understood, and there is a lack of warmth. There are manifestations of selfishness, egotism, poor communication, and a lack of tenderness and empathy.
Narcissists are unaware of how they are impacting their children. They seem overconfident regarding their parenting skills and overestimate their upbringing techniques. Narcissists believe that they own their children and thus they control them. They are unable to perceive their children as separate entities.
How Does a Narcissist Concieve of Love?
Maybe narcissists have a different definition of love or they are different in approach to love. As their relationships are based on transactions (i.e. until they can gain from you)they may never truly understand the normal meaning of love as we all perceive and expect. They may love you in the way that they understand love. If you are willing to accept their terms of love then you can have a sustainable relationship with a narcissist. You may also not reach a dating stage sometimes with a narcissist where love or emotional bonding is required as narcissists are incapable of having long-term relationships.
What happens if the Narcissist’s Family does not comply?
When children of narcissistic parents grow up to realize about their bad or not normal parenting, they will surely create a conflict. This is the worst fear of narcissistic parents, as their own child would be revealing their bad parenting by revealing their true personalities which would then damage their grandiose image. This complete event may transform into an act of vengeance and violence.
The same goes for the spouses of narcissistic personalities. When they rebel against them for having toxic personalities and confront them, then this situation may create havoc as the narcissistic would be enraged. Thus this can also steer a storm into their relationship.
When a narcissist is involved in any sort of relationship, eventually those relationships turn toxic and deteriorate your well-being. So let us know what does a toxic relationship looks like,
A toxic bond or a toxic relationship is where your mental health, emotional health, and overall well-being are compromised. You do not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Toxic relationships can exist between romantic partners, friends, work colleagues, and even family including parents.
Important Takeaway
Narcissists desire to have a family for some major reasons like elevating their social image, obtaining their narcissistic supply, gaining power and control, etc. But narcissists may also desire love, care, and compassion from family members. Thus they understand the worth and privileges of having a family. Narcissists do care for their families, but there also may be some hidden agendas or propagation when a narcissist chooses to help out.
So yes; narcissists can be caring for their family members in times of need. But do not expect they might know everything about how to care for someone as they lack empathy. Their ways to provide care may be totally different and might also feel useless many a time, but this is all you get when you expect help and care from a narcissist. They also understand the worth and privileges of having a family. Narcissists do care for their families, but there also may be some hidden agendas or propagation when a narcissist chooses to help out.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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