11 Ways Narcissists And Alcoholics Are Similar

by Ella Carrillo · March 4, 2024

Even though Narcissism and alcoholism are different, there are a few resemblances that they share despite the fact that narcissism is a personality disorder and alcoholism depicts an addiction or a drinking problem. Knowing the resemblances may help to look at the similarities, so let us discuss 11 ways Narcissists and Alcoholics are similar.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that is a clinically proven mental health illness, which requires a diagnosis to claim someone as a narcissist. It is a deep-rooted personality trait. People who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder are termed as Narcissists.

Alcoholism is a problem created by excessive and dependable drinking. People who drink to survive are known as Alcoholics because they cannot function smoothly in day-to-day life without consuming alcohol. Alcoholism is often included in the list of substances referred to as substance abuse.

Not all narcissists are alcoholics and not all alcoholics are narcissists or may have a mental health disorder. Yet alcoholics and narcissists have similarities. Both of them have certain similar behavioral patterns and characteristics. For instance, narcissists and alcoholics both have uncertain emotional reactions.

If you are dealing with someone who may be suffering from alcoholism and spews toxicity and abuse after drinking, or an individual with narcissistic tendencies and also might have a drinking problem, this is the article for you to find the overlap.

Here are 11 Ways Narcissists and Alcoholics are similar,

11 Ways Narcissists and Alcoholics Are Similar

Both narcissists and alcoholics are,

1. Skilled Liars

Both narcissists and alcoholics have tendencies to behave out of line quite often and thus their reflexes are outstanding for deflecting the blame and to do so lying effortlessly.

The narcissist may lie to hide their toxicity, boost their ego, and maintain their grandiose image. While alcoholics may lie in denial to stow away their drinking problem. Both narcissists and alcoholics may deny that their behavior is problematic and also deny the fact that their behavior may be damaging.

Lying becomes an ingrained habit for them as they may be continuously making innumerable amounts of half-truths or lies. Narcissists thrive on pretense, the same way alcoholics thrive on lies and denial.

2. Sowing seeds of Destruction

Narcissists and alcoholics both sow the seeds of destruction wherever they are. They create problems for their family members, friends, and loved ones by the way they behave with them.

People around them experience betrayal, rejection, manipulation, and emotional injuries. The abusive tendencies of narcissists and the problematic behavior of alcoholics, when they lose self-control, create many issues for people around them. They may not care how their behavior may affect others and how their tendency to use people for their benefit may make them feel betrayed and hurt.

Both narcissists and alcoholics may sacrifice everything necessary like their image, career, relationships, friendships self-respect, money, or anything that may be an essential part of their lives to gain attention and the drink of their choice. For alcoholics, their addiction can also lead to death in extreme cases, i.e. self-destruction.

3. Emotional inauthenticity

Both of their behavior is emotionally inauthentic. Their emotional inauthenticity may not allow them to connect emotionally with others and be drowned and involved in their world.

Narcissists may fake their emotions to establish a good, positive, and commending personality, while alcoholics may shed fake tears to hide the consequences of their addiction and also display how their sorrows may be costing them.

It becomes difficult for narcissists and alcoholics to sustain longer relationships as their manipulative tendencies and power of addiction may refrain them from doing so. Thus both have emotional inauthenticity and fail at maintaining healthy and long-lasting relationships.

4. Driven by the drug of their choice

Narcissists are driven by their narcissistic supply and alcoholics are driven by the substance of alcohol. Their entire lives revolve around their sources or supply.

Narcissistic supply is a need or an indirect demand from narcissists to acquire attention, validation, and admiration from others. A narcissistic supply is everything that helps a narcissist to make their life fulfilled. Supply is everything that makes them important like control, praise, worth, ego boost, and everything that makes them feel superior.

While alcoholics are driven by people who allow and help them with their addiction.

The drug of choice for the narcissist is attention in any form and a drink of their choice for the alcoholic. They tend to view people who support them as their enablers (enablers are people who help them gain what they need; for narcissists, it is their narcissistic supply, and for alcoholics, it is the people who help them maintain their addiction).

They may view others as threats as they interfere with their agendas of procuring what they need.

5. Self-absorbed

Narcissists and alcoholics both feel that they are entitled and thus their unhealthy behavior is justified. Narcissistic relationships are about them and revolve around them. For alcoholics, their entire world revolves around their freedom to drink without any negation.

Narcissists and alcoholics both lead normal lives and may be unharming unless they are triggered by the loss of narcissistic supply and without the influence of alcohol. They both may have issues maintaining healthy relationships due to their self-centered, selfish, and abusive behavior.

6. Blaming

One of the attributes of narcissism and alcoholism is to deflect blame. Narcissists blame others and gaslight them for calling out their behavior. They may project their negativity onto others. In the same way, alcoholics may blame shift when others point out their drinking issue. Both of them may blame family disputes, work troubles, issues with partners or kids, or any issues in life and thus justify their abusive behavior and excessive drinking.

Narcissists deflect the blame for their wrongdoings onto others. They would never accept their mistakes and hardly apologize for them. They think admitting to mistakes makes them inferior and thus they blame others for putting them in such a situation where they had to do what they did.

Similarly, alcoholics might blame situations, people, and circumstances that made them drink in the first place. They may have lots of excuses for their drinking abuse.

7. Withdrawal, stonewalling, and verbal assault

Getting defensive when confronted, questioned, or challenged is a core defense mechanism technique used by both, narcissists and alcoholics. When you question their behavior, they may get defensive and indulge in even more unhealthy behavioral tactics as their defense mechanism is triggered by confrontation or condemnation.

Both may have long faces, may lash out, and give silent treatment when you point out their faults.

8. Consumed by shame

Both narcissists and alcoholics seek only one thing, attention, and alcohol respectively. They may not be able to have a genuine interest when other people emote or express their feelings. Both feel that they are entitled to everything.

These behaviors often are a mask of the deep-rooted feelings of shame, guilt, and insecurities. Both of them may be ashamed of their behavior, yet they hide it efficiently.

9. Negligible self-reflection

Narcissists lack the ability of self-realization and thus their emotional understanding is shallow and surfaced level. If a narcissist intends to look deep inside, they may find a hollow personality and might have to acknowledge a lack of self-esteem and emptiness underneath their perfect yet fake character that they might have pulled off.

Whereas, alcoholics also drink just to get away from their problems and the pain that self-reflection might bring. They run away from facing introspection and drink excessively as they are afraid that the trauma, pain, and insecurities from which they are running might chase them which might be the reason for their drinking problem.

Thus for both, the longer they leave the problem unchecked, the challenging it may get to face those problems as they lack self-reflection.

10. Distorted sense of reality

Narcissists believe that they are superior and better than others and thus do not need to have a perspective for others, as what they say and do would be best for others. Even if they do something unapt for others they gaslight them to believe that whatever has been done is best for them and that they do not deserve more.

Even alcoholics may distort the reality of the facts that may prove that their drinking problem is creating problems for others too. Thus both try to distort the reality of the situation to gaslight them.

11. Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships

You may wish the narcissist would understand the negative and painful effects of their toxic behavior on you. Unfortunately, that wish would never turn into a fulfilled plan as narcissists lack self-observation, and thus their relationships are toxic and unhealthy as they may never understand how their behavior is harming others.

Alcoholics also do not realize how their drunk behavior hurts other people and thus maintaining their relationships becomes challenging for them.

Final Thoughts

Even though Narcissism and alcoholism are different, there are a few resemblances that are shared above that may suffice the similarities between narcissism and alcoholism.

Exhibiting narcissistic traits and behaviors while drunk, does not prove that the person is narcissistic or has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Alcohol is capable of influencing narcissistic traits like arrogance, self-importance, feelings of entitlement, and superiority, which may be absent when that same person is sober or is not under the influence of alcohol.

To gain an answer based on current and existing research, it cannot be proved that alcoholism can cause personality disorders like narcissism.

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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

11 Ways Narcissists And Alcoholics Are Similar