Things Narcissists Say To Get You Back
Narcissistic partners do not leave their exes easily, as they keep them as a safe option to use them as a rebound relationship. Thus they may try their best to get back with their exes. This article discusses a few things Narcissists say to get you back.
We attract what we seek. But the delusional person may get our senses tangled up, and we may ignore the red flags. I guess this happens to everyone who may not be sure whether or not to get back with a toxic person.
If you have ever dated a narcissist, you may be well aware of their tactics. Hoovering is one such tactic that they use, to lure in their exes making it extremely challenging to break off your relationship with them.
Narcissists try to hoover around their exes and victimize them again, as they cannot let go easily. Hoovering is always intended for the emotional ex-partner that a narcissist tries to regain. It is the vulnerabilities that the narcissist takes advantage of.
Thus it can be difficult when you part ways with a narcissist, but it is not impossible. Once you are aware of the tactics like hoovering, and things they may say to manipulate you, you may be able to save yourself from the narcissistic manipulation.
Once you know the true intentions behind their sugar-coated words, you may be able to disarm them without getting caught up in the emotional web that they weave to keep you in the relationship.
Thus here are a few Narcissists say to get you back.
Things Narcissists Say To Get You Back
Usually, a narcissist might return to a relationship, when they run out of narcissistic supply. It is when they lack something; physical intimacy, money, validation, emotional support, attention, and so on. These are all sources that provide them narcissistic supply.
Narcissists always fill the gaps left in their lives by their partners by replacing their old partners with someone better or meeting new friends and acquaintances. This toxic cycle of abuse goes on until they feel that they always need more, and crawl back to their old partners.
They always end up needing more as no amount of narcissistic supply is ever sufficient for them. They end up going back to their exes as narcissists are well aware that they can satisfy their needs up to some extent.
The narcissist might want you back for the affection you had for them as everyone especially narcissists craves attention and affection. They might miss your validation for their fake, unreal, and dual personality, they might miss what you did for them, how you made them feel, and the physical intimacy.
They would not miss you for who you are or your feelings, but they might miss you for how you made them feel special and entitled and made them your priority.
Let us know a few statements that a narcissist might use to lure you back into the toxic relationship,
1. “You are the only one who understood me”
You might have changed your perspective when you were with them as you were able to see the emotionally damaged child. As an empath, you might have tried to understand them and thus your efforts were taken for granted by them.
Due to your deep understanding and emotional bond, you might have felt the pain emanating from the emotionally wounded narcissist who wanted to heal, and you provided them with what they needed. Thus you always understand better than others.
What they mean here is…
By saying, “You are the only one who understood me” to get you back, what the narcissist is saying is that they have repeatedly used this statement to lure their exes back. You have been added to the list of those exes just so that they can retain you in the relationship for as long as they wish.
2. “I will do anything to make it work”
Narcissists would commit to their toxicity and also acknowledge their abusive behavior, but half-heartedly. They are not going to change, and the cycle of abuse will continue even if they tell you they will change.
What they mean here is…
Narcissists would tell you convincingly, “I will do anything to make it work”, but only to manipulate, control, and establish their power over you until you get back with them. They would manipulate you even more to keep you trapped in a vicious relationship.
3. “I didn’t mean to hurt you and I am going to make it up to you”
Narcissists may come to you begging for your attention and with a bag full of apologies and regret. They would state that they did not intend to hurt you and will prove it no matter what.
They would lovebomb you, shower you with your gifts and try all ways to prove that you mean the world to them, and thus they want you back in their life. You might start to feel the same rush of emotions that you felt when you first met them. You may also start blaming yourself for once for leaving them.
You may also take the blame upon yourself for their abusive behavior and devalue yourself. You may start to question your behavior if you might not have behaved in a certain way, they might not have behaved the way they did.
Thus narcissists would remind you of the fake future you both might have wanted and planned together.
What they mean here is…
By saying, “I didn’t mean to hurt you and I am going to make it up to you” the narcissist means that they are not yet done with you and there is still so much to drain from you. They are not yet letting you go because you are a potential source for obtaining a narcissistic supply.
They know that you may give in emotionally once they manipulate your emotions. They know your weaknesses and they would target those. They may promise you to be the person you might have expected them to be, but all in vain. These fake promises may just be mere words without any real-time action.
They may put out a mask of being a chance-worthy individual, but behind that mask, they would be burning with rage as you may have figured them out. They are furious with the fact that it would be tough to manipulate you now since you know their true personality.
A relationship with a narcissist may always feel fake while you might be hurting from within for leaving them. Meanwhile, they might just be planning to get you back in the relationship with the bare minimum efforts and fake but believable promises.
They may ideally wish to pick it up from where they left off. They know how to execute their plan to get you back as they know you inside out.
4. “I can not put up with this anymore”
With a narcissistic partner, you may never really know what is coming for you. With tactics like gaslighting, brainwashing, and projecting they may have you under their control.
When they wish to create drama they may use such statements just to get a reaction out of you. They want you to beg them to stay with you. They may trick you into thinking they are discarding you just for that begging, crying, and convincing.
What they mean here is…
To check whether or not you are more invested in the relationship than them, they may create certain drama by placing a fake discard phase into the relationship. Once you get tricked by their fake move, they would not have to do much to keep you in the relationship.
They may be doing this because they might have sniffed an issue coming their way. They are worried that their truth might get exposed to you and thus to cover up, they might create fake discard scenes, where they do not plan to discard you in reality.
5. “We are soulmates, we are meant to be together”
Narcissists just love the idea of having a soul mate but they may never really put in any effort to make it work. They may love the attention and attraction that they may get by using such powerful statements.
They love the impact the world soul mate creates and they may also beg for forgiveness when they reapproach you during the hoovering stage. They may powerfully inject the words “You are my soulmate” stating that they do not plan to lose you and you mean the world to them.
Sometimes they may approach you to check how you may be dealing with life after they leave you as they seek pleasure in other people’s pain, sadness, and agony.
What they mean here is…
They are well aware of the fact that the empathy and other feelings you have for the narcissist would pull you back into the relationship it is only that they have to learn how to trigger those emotions with mere words like, “We are soulmates, we are meant to be together”.
They have a realization that it is easy to manipulate people with words temporarily to gain them permanently in their lives. They believe that a play of words could bring people back into their lives.
6. “I cannot be happy without you”
Narcissists choose and use words wisely, and this is another attempt from them to bring you back into the toxic relationship by using emotional blackmail. They may try to implement here that their happiness depends on you. They may victimize you for deviating them from happiness.
What they mean here is…
They mean they cannot be happy without your words of affirmation, admiration, and validation. They may not need you but the qualities that you bring to the relationship.
The energy, the positiveness, the admiration for them, validation and an ego-boosting corroboration.
7. “I have decided to get help”
Now that you know their true identity, they are not left with many options but to fabricate truths. You saw right through their toxicity, and now all they can do is convince you with lies.
You might have seen right through them and highlighted their toxic behavior, so all they would do is agree with you and try to convince you that they would change for you.
What they mean here is…
They have realized that they have been exposed and now they have to lure you back into the relationship anyhow. So they may try all hoovering tactics so that you are convinced and agree to be with them.
They may provide a fake consolation to convince you for the time being and trick you into believing that they have changed for real and for good. They may ask for your support and thus ask you to get back to them to help, support, and heal them.
Final Thoughts
Narcissistic partners do not leave their exes easily, as they keep them as a safe option to use them as a rebound relationship. They may manipulate you by creating drama and trap you with their sweet words.
Once you know the true intentions behind their sugar-coated words, you may be able to disarm them without getting caught up in the emotional web that they weave to keep you in the relationship.
Thus these above-mentioned statements might help you steer clear of the nasty intentions of a narcissistic ex and help you see things.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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