10 Reasons Why The Narcissist Hates You

by Ella Carrillo · January 2, 2024

Is the narcissist being hostile to you suddenly? If so! then you have made a place on their hate list. Here are 10 plausible reasons why the Narcissist hates you.

If you feel you are at the receiving end of the narcissist’s ill-disposed behavior, they may either be super upset with you or may have started hating you. Even after tonnes of apologies, they are not ready to forgive you, and this states that you have made a hit spot on the list of people they hate.

It is so hard to believe that a person you may be once so close suddenly starts despising you. So how could someone go from a hot to cold connection real quick? Once they might have treated you like you meant everything to them and their world revolves around you, but in an instance, they become cruel and insensitive.

It is a familiar concept for those, who ever had a narcissist in their life. Someone with narcissistic tendencies may also come across as puzzling and unclear. Narcissists may hate someone if they are more successful, and fulfilled in life. This may trigger their jealousy and also activate their defense mechanism which is rage or hostility.

Thus let us know a few reasons why a narcissist might hate you,

10 Reasons Why the Narcissist Hates You

If you feel that the narcissist in your life with whom you may have shared a good bond, despises you suddenly, then here below are some probable reasons to verify,

You are a threat to their superiority

Narcissists like to be dominating and powerful in the relationship. If anybody outshines them, it would be perceived as a threat to them. Their desire to be the center of attention makes them work harder to establish their presence. This requires them to be superior in all aspects.

To maintain their self-worth, they think they need to be more outshining than others, and thus superiority is a tool they use to do so. If they see someone more capable or outstanding than them, their jealousy may lead them to assert dominance over that individual.

For instance,

If you are working on a team project at work, and if your ideas are more appreciated than the narcissist of the group, then you may have to face their jealousy. They may also try to devalue your ideas, criticize the workability of the project, or even enforce a better idea. They may do this as their ego is bruised by your appreciation from your boss, or you have deemed their wit.

You are too Independent

Narcissists would like when others depend upon them so that they can enforce their control over them. So if you are too independent, this may hinder their dominance over you.

The first step someone can take toward independence is to establish stronger boundaries, ones that the narcissist is unable to infiltrate. Establishing boundaries asserts your independence and doing this is questioning or challenging their authority over you. Thus being too independent will make them despise you.

For instance,

For instance, if you are in a romantic relationship with a narcissist and that is not long ago. It is a recent change. But you like to spend time with your best friends as they may be your go-to person in challenging times. Your narcissistic partner would be jealous of your best friend as your time would be divided between them and your best friend. Thus the narcissist would restrict you from meeting your best friend or speak ill of them.

You challenged their perception

Narcissists are the kings or the queens of their crafted world where they are the magnet that attracts everyone through their charm and intelligence. So when their thoughts or conduct is questioned, this becomes a threat to their perception.

The person doing this may have to face their wrath or despise. This would display the inconsistent, inefficient, and weaker side of their perception, and thus they may be hostile toward you.

For instance,

If you have a narcissistic boss, who is a credit hogger, your hard work and teamwork would be meager to them and they would just pretend everything is successful because of their leadership. The narcissistic boss would undermine their team’s efforts. So if you clarify that the success is because of the team and not just them, you are the target of their criticizing comments, ill behavior, or even a demotion. Thus they would punish you and hate you for speaking up to them or against them.

You exposed them

Exposing the narcissist would be like pulling the pin of a grenade. Narcissists fear confrontation and despise the idea of being exposed. They live a dual life, where they have a facade of being nice and a benign individual. Whereas reality shouts the opposite. They are toxic and they have unhealthy relationships.

A narcissist is an incorrigible person who is not able to acknowledge their own mistakes and considers themselves spotless and perfect. They try to be perfectionists and idealists and claim veneration. So when you try to take off that mask, you get a top spot on their hate list.

For instance,

If you catch your narcissistic partner cheating on you, and when you try to confront them about this, or directly file for a divorce, they may do everything to prove themselves innocent or just bury the case deep down. They may also threaten you with physical violence or abuse if you go beyond your limits to expose them and gain freedom.

You are more competent than them

If you outwit the narcissist in a common area of interest, you end up being despised by them. If you are highly qualified, best suited for the role, or more capable than them, particularly in a field of interest that even they are keenly interested in, they may always try to compete and outperform you. But when the opposite happens or you somehow beat them in the game, you end up being the person they hate or despise.

For instance,

You may be excelling at a team project at your workplace, thus gaining all the praise and attention from your co-workers and even your boss. But the only unhappy and jealous person who is downgrading your achievements would be the narcissist from your team. They would do this as they would be unable to bear your success at the same place of work. Thus they would be hating you and spoiling your reputation.

You are not admiring them enough

Narcissists are greedy and they want your undivided attention. For them, everyone should be focusing on them while they are around. They expect others to praise them, admire them, and acknowledge their superiority. When others do not appreciate and admire them, they take it as a form of rejection, thus they would resent those people, who do not appreciate, admire, and validate them enough.

For instance,

Imagine you have a narcissistic friend who is telling their travel stories at a dinner meeting, and you might be checking your watch as you have another commitment. They take this as a personal attack and thus be grumpy towards you. They may even pass ill comments just give a silent treatment or just ignore your presence. They display their resentment by doing so.

You criticized them

Narcissists have a boosted sense of self-importance, and thus they repel criticism. The criticism highlights flaws and narcissist do not like anything that spoils their perfect image. They take criticism as an attack on their deep-rooted insecurities and thus they respond negatively either with hatred or rage.

For instance,

If you politely suggest to your narcissistic partner about their behavior that may hurt you, they may instantly get defensive. They would protect themselves by proving an argument that may be defending them or gaslighting you into believing that you are the problematic partner in the relationship.

You did not give them enough attention

Narcissists have this boosted sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a constant need to gain attention, admiration, and validation from others. They would get offended when someone does not give them the attention they want. They believe that they are extraordinary and substantially superior to others, thus they deserve all eyes on them.

When you do not pay attention to them, or when your attention is divided, they display a strong dislike and resentfulness.

For instance,

For instance, if you are at a social gathering with your narcissistic partner, and your attention is divided as you engage in conversations with others. Thus you ask your partner to hold their thoughts for a while, and you would listen to what they have to say in a while. They would immediately get offended and have a grumpy mood for the rest of the event. They might refuse to communicate with you throughout the event.

You rejected them

Narcissists often consider themselves as worthier than others and believe that they are supreme beings who are smarter, appealing, and supercilious. Thus they feel that nobody could ever reject them. So when you turn them down or deny something, they feel that they are being rejected by you. They cannot bear any form of rejection or denial.

When someone rejects them, they feel that their self-worth and grandiose image is being challenged. Thus they may resort to hostility and malevolence as their defense mechanism.

For instance,

When you turn down a romantic proposal by a narcissistic someone, they may take it upon themselves to smear your reputation as you hurt their pride by rejecting them. They would spread rumors, and criticize your personality or even seek revenge if their ego has been scared deeply.

They are jealous of your success

When you have a better success story to tell others, the narcissist in your life may be super jealous of you. They thrive upon attention and admiration, and your success is drawing all that away from them. So when someone close to them is more successful than them, they see it as a threat to their ego.

They would diminish or devalue your achievements to regain their superiority. They may also be unhappy as you may be succeeding and overshadowing their achievements.

For instance,

Imagine that you have been promoted at your workplace, and you share this with your colleagues. The narcissistic colleague in your team might quickly devalue your promotion by mentioning their achievements. They may even suggest that your promotion may be due to the partial approach of the boss or favoritism. They may not congratulate you but may make the celebratory moment into a chaotic and derogatory event.

In Conclusion

When the narcissist hates you, it has nothing to do with you but is mostly related to their insecurities and issues. So when they despise you or have negative feelings for you, it is their insecurities and self-doubts that they may be trying to project onto you.

So when you feel that the narcissist hates you, do not get disheartened or pulled into their drama. They may be wishing to stir up your happy moments by adding their despise. Do not mind them and just be proud and happy with yourself and your successes in life.

FYI, this may come as a shock but your narcissistic partner may even hate your pets as they believe that they are stealing the attention that the narcissist should be achieving.

Author
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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

10 Reasons Why The Narcissist Hates You