How To Deal With A Narcissist In Court Proceedings?
How to deal with a Narcissist in Court Proceedings? A court proceeding can be successful when both the defendant and the plaintiff can explain their respective perspectives, helping the judge to provide an unbiased and fair decision in the end. But how to get a fair decision when the opposition party is a narcissist?
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who is often characterized as being extremely self-absorbed. They always prioritize themself and their needs above others. They have a high sense of self-importance. Thus it can be concluded, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes.
Narcissism is a personality disorder that is a clinically proven mental health illness, which requires a diagnosis to claim someone as a narcissist. Narcissistic Personality disorder is a mental health condition that may be characterized by a boosted sense of self-importance, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and an inflated ego.
Characteristics of a Narcissist
Narcissists possess some traits or characteristics that make them a little hard to deal with. Some peculiar narcissistic traits include,
- Lack of sensitivity and empathy.
- Are self-centric.
- Blame others for their mistakes.
- Have unhealthy relations.
- Arrogance and anger are their first reaction to any problems.
- Hate changes and also cannot take them well.
- Are emotionally unstable and unavailable.
- Takes advantage of others easily.
- Are abusive.
- Lack of self-awareness and self-reflection.
- Always expecting more from others.
- Boosted sense of self-importance.
- Obsession with image and reputation.
- Tendency to manipulate others mostly by gaslighting them.
- Preoccupation with fantasies of power, success, looks, and money.
How Narcissistic Relationships can create challenges in Court?
Narcissistic behavior can be troublesome in court for the defendant as narcissists are shrewd manipulators and you may not be able to beat them unless you have a professional helping you. Their lies are so convincing that the case may start to be one-sided, as their truth-coated lies and fabricated proofs can be convincing enough.
Narcissists have hidden agendas and ulterior motives when an issue that involves them reaches a courtroom. When this happens they need to have an upper hand by winning by hook or by crook. They are obsessed with winning and thus they may resort to using ways that may be illegal too. Their desire for victory is so vicious that they may even provide false proof, false witnesses, or even frame you for some things that you might not have done.
When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, the task gets difficult. What makes it even more difficult is dealing with them in court. If you have ever faced a narcissist in court as a plaintiff or as a defendant, then you might know that fighting against them is like a battle of wits.
You might encounter a narcissist in court for many possible reasons like a divorce, child custody, harassment, family settlements, property disputes, and many more such reasons. Narcissists do not like it when they lose. They would do anything to win, thus their efforts at winning would double up proportionately.
Narcissist – The destroyer of self-esteem
Narcissists are the reason why their opponent’s self-esteem reaches rock bottom. This can have adverse effects as the narcissist can be unpredictable in court. They would make sure that their opponents get numb and they get cold feet so that they can be controlled. Narcissists would eventually end up crumbling their opponent’s self-image through various manipulative tactics and the main part is their opponent would just be played at this point as they would be unaware as to what is going on.
Narcissists would always be pitted in court as they would present themselves as the victim. In reality, narcissists are wrongdoers who destroy their partner’s self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. It so happens that the narcissist would present themselves as this confident, never lying, calm, and composed being who seems more reliable and sound-minded.
Narcissists would wear this fake mask of being someone else that they are not in reality. They would try their best to appear innocent, calm, mature, and understanding. Knowing the true nature of the narcissist, their opponent(their partners in most cases) might be somewhat petrified as the narcissist is unpredictable and might stoop to the lowest when it comes to winning.
So the victim here, their opponents (partners) would be willing to give up every bit of fight that is left within to win against the narcissist. Narcissists are so capable that they can easily wipe off the last hope that you might have which can also end up in you not seeing your worth. So after making their opponents underconfident, terrified, and hopeless, there is more chance for the narcissists to win.
Narcissists are just waiting for that chance that as soon as you make an error and bam! the case would easily shift in their favor without making many efforts. So the most important thing to note here is that do not give up just because you have to face the narcissist. Just gather all the courage and strength and put your best foot forward. Just remember here, that it is you who has been wronged and there is no need to be petrified. Just take a deep breath regain your confidence and give in your hundred percent.
When you are dealing with a narcissist, be ready for the worst-case scenarios. Narcissists usually target your insecurities, and weaknesses and also comment on the grey areas of the relationship in court. They do this intentionally to make you lose your calm and control and react impulsively. Narcissists are sly and cunning and thus they can find there to manipulate and exploit people’s insecurities and twist the truth thus making the situation look like it lacks reality.
Besides this, narcissists have this godly image that they present to the people whom they meet for the first. People can be easily swayed by their charm, charisma, and the way they make the lies sound like truths. So if you wish to win the child custody battle against a narcissist, then work harder on providing pieces of evidence and tangible proof, because winning against a narcissist through a verbal argument is impossible. Thus plan out well and collect as much evidence as possible.
5 tips for How to Deal with a Narcissist in Court Proceedings
Here are 5 useful tips that may make your court case stronger when you have a narcissist as your opposition,
Stay focused on your goals
The narcissist may try to drag you off topic and make you lose your argument by disrupting with topics that may be irrelevant to the case. They may also try to control your mind by making delusional appeals in court.
It is often very easy to get caught up in their delusional mind games. Staying committed to your goals would be the best way to win your court case. Do not allow them to drag you off-topic and focus on the goal of the case. Doing this would justify your arguments.
Do not engage
Narcissists have a knack for arguing and they may try their best to make you acknowledge that they are right. You may not be able to win an argument against them unless you are firm and have enough proof. So if you engage in unnecessary fights it may fuel their false claims on you proving your emotional instability.
Unless you have to make defending statements regarding the case, do not engage with them in unnecessary argumentative statements. Make sure you have a professional lawyer to help you throughout the case. Also, write down your arguments so that you do not engage in unnecessary arguments.
Document everything
A narcissist advances their arguments when you seem confused and clueless. They use your (their opponent’s) self-doubt and confusion to make their case stronger. If they can bait you with a lie they would do so. Thus documenting everything would make defending yourself and proving them guilty easier in court.
Keep records of everything. This includes bank statements, invoices, memos, and photo and video evidence that prove them guilty. Also, include every detail in the record including the date and time. Also, download all the chat logs on different social media platforms. Try to capture everything that may highlight their manipulative, abusive, and toxic behavior.
You can choose your feasible method of collecting proof and saving it. You may store it in a document format and print it later, or save it as a PDF(Portable Document Format) to present it as is in a digital file format. If you decide to keep every proof in a digital format then make sure you are keeping it in a password-protected file or folder on your phone or computer.
So when you do this it may also make your case stronger, help your lawyer, and also make it easier for the judge to provide an unbiased statement.
Be prepared to explain Narcissism to the Judge
Not all and everyone may be aware of the mental health disorder. Even if they do they may not know the depths of it how a narcissist can be toxic, and manipulative, and how living with them is no more feasible and it has led you to the courtroom to protect yourself.
You and your attorney should be ready with everything that is required to explain narcissism to the judge and how it has effects on various relationships. Do not hesitate to bring in the required witnesses and do not be afraid to testify the truth. Also, you must have a backup option in case your witnesses or people helping you with the case somehow are unable to show up.
Do not expect mediation to work and do not settle for anything less than justice
Most family court cases do not make it to court as the family lawyers suggest seeking help from a counselor or a therapist and trying to resolve issues without having a court proceeding. However, resolving an issue by meditation would never work with a narcissistic relationship. Narcissists always aim to win and thus they may never lose anything that they may be fighting for, a divorce, child custody, property, or any disputes.
Despite denying any mediation, if you still have to go through mediation, make sure you are equipped and prepared for everything that comes your way because you should not settle for anything less than justice. If mediation fails, your chances of winning a court proceeding may increase.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a narcissist is never easy, as it is a mentally and emotionally draining process. But you must make sure that you focus on your goal and stay calm and composed.
Hiring just the right type of attorney ensures your victory for your case. Find someone who understands such narcissistic personalities and also those who have handled such cases previously. Hiring such a professional who understands the subtleties of narcissistic personalities becomes crucial. A lawyer who can bring out the shady and disguised personality of the narcissist is the right choice here.
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