How Does A Narcissist Handle Rejection And No Contact? (Their Actual Feelings)

by Ella Carrillo · June 29, 2023

How does a Narcissist handle Rejection and No Contact? Can a narcissist handle rejection without acting paranoid or depressed? Can they actually understand the meaning of “No Contact”? Can they really handle rejection without seeking revenge? Do they believe in maintaining boundaries? How would a narcissist feel and act when you reject them and try to maintain no contact with them?

Narcissists are often characterized by their boosted sense of self-importance, self-pride, and self-needs. With a narcissist, everything is just about them. Narcissists thrive upon the attention, adoration, and validation that they receive from others, and what makes them distinguished from others is the way they think and the way they behave, which is totally selfish and mean. Thus they cannot take rejection well. They do not know to maintain any boundaries.

A narcissist can not take “NO” for an answer. Rage becomes their coping mechanism for anything displeasing like rejection or ignorance. Rejection means what a narcissist perceives that they are not up to the mark for you or they lack somewhere. This makes them even more challenging to deal with. A narcissist thinks that they are nothing but perfect and that nothing can suffice the rejection that they have received.

Rejecting a narcissist and also maintaining no contact with them, becomes a strenuous task for a narcissist as they are habituated to receiving attention and validation from their partners. So when you reject a narcissist, that can directly pierce them right through their ego. Narcissists think that they are perfect and nobody can reject their remarkable personalities.

What to expect when you reject and go no contact with a narcissist?

Narcissists are multi-faceted individuals and this their reactions would also differ from the conventional and most common ones. Usually, when you reject someone, they might be upset initially, but let it go and move on from that. But with narcissists, it is totally different. They would either act all indifferent from the surface; unbothered and unaffected at all, or they would act extreme by having anger outbursts or seeking revenge for rejecting them. There also can be other reactions too based on different narcissistic personalities.

Rejection along with no contact can ignite their defense mechanism. They would often perceive rejection as other people’s loss. They believe that by rejecting the exceptional self that they are, the people are just basic and they do not know the value of them and thus they were not meant to be together anyways. They may also devalue, dismiss and smear the other person’s reputation who rejected them.

Narcissists constantly juggle between being a super confident self on the outside and a gloomy, undermined, and highly doubted inadequate self on the inside. They already have a pre-existent constant fear that they might be disliked, rejected by others or they might be repudiated by them if they do not maintain their grandiose self-image. So when you reject a narcissist they would act all mighty on the outside, but on the inside; they might be bursting with anger, or a fear of abandonment, or a hailstorm of revenge, anything is possible.

So based on the characteristics of a narcissist, Can you reject a narcissist? Can you choose not to get involved with them? What would be the consequences of rejecting them and also maintaining no contact with them? In the article, let us get to the answers to the question, “How does a Narcissist handle Rejection and No Contact?” further.

How does a Narcissist handle Rejection and No Contact? (Their Actual Feelings)

Narcissists might respond unexpectedly when you reject them. Their responses are often derived from their traits rather than based on emotions. Let us know a few ways further as to how a narcissist would handle rejection and no contact which might include some emotions or their true feelings too!

1. They would act highly unaffected

Narcissists think being vulnerable is a weakness that may ultimately bring down their mighty and grandiose self-image. When you reject a narcissist they might act all unaffected as if they do not need anyone in their life and they are more than enough. But the reality as we all know is, narcissists require admiration, attention, and validation at each and every step and for every other aspect of their life. But at this point when you have rejected them, they would simply act unaffected as per one of their techniques from their defense mechanisms. They need people to obtain their narcissistic supply.

They cannot let people know that they need them desperately and thus they might act vigorously and tough and might say things like,

“Big deal, I do not need anyone to be fulfilled.”
“It hardly matters whether you stay or not.”

It is important to remember that what a narcissist says or does is on them and you have to fear nothing or nothing is on you. So be bold and say out loud what your heart feels like.

2. They might lash out

When something unexpected takes place, like you rejecting the narcissist, then they might definitely choose to lash out at you. Narcissists cannot bear when they lose control of the situation. They might have expected that you would accept them happily, but when the situation turns another way around and you reject them along with a straight demand to also maintain a no contact, their first instinct and reaction would be rage. They can be brutal and say some things that you might not want to hear.

A narcissist’s thought processes and reflexes are a little impossible to predict precisely. They act impulsively out of rage when proven wrong, criticized, rejected, ignored, or denied. Narcissists are passive-aggressive beings, who fail to connect emotionally with their loved ones hence they use various methods to feel powerful. Their actions always differ from what they have to say or believe.

3. They might smear your reputation

When you reject the narcissist, or when you break up with them this is when the narcissist undertakes the task to smear your reputation to make themselves feel better, to satisfy their ego, and to maintain their image in society. A narcissist would not hesitate even once to spread rumors about you and would tell all sorts of stories and lies to turn people around you against you. They would wish all people just cut ties with you and then you have to rely on them. They would not allow people to know your side of the story.

Narcissists would try to save their own selves by acting the victim and hiding their real toxic selves they project all the bad that they have done with you onto you and tag you as the bad person here claiming all the bad or the wrongdoings under your name.

4. They may give you fake apologies

In order to win you over and just sidetrack the rejection, narcissists would try making fake apologies. Narcissists are very much unfamiliar with the concept of apologies and feeling regret for their behavior. A genuine apology comes with the feeling of empathy, narcissists are not empathetic and thus apologize may not come across as genuine. Their apologies may also make it look like that rejection was on you as they were innocent. Narcissists never really change and thus their fake apologies can be ignored and thus you may not accept their apologies to save yourself from the abusive relationship.

5. They would resort to Gaslighting you

Be ready to be part of the narcissist’s gaslighting game which is toxic. They would try to paint a picture for you where they would claim that they have misunderstood you. They might use catchphrases or dialogues from your own conversations and use them against you when you reject them. Narcissists might try to make you feel guilty and also create a situation where you might doubt your own senses. Gaslighting you can be the topmost priority for a Narcissist once they feel they have been routed.

Gaslighting is a completely cyclical incident. It does not just happen once, it is a repetitive abusive cycle of multiple events for which you are a victim. For instance, gaslighters use statements like,

When a romantic partner rejects them they would say, “I should have never expected that we could work this out.”
When a friend has some misunderstanding, “You are not able to understand what I am trying to convey. It is you who is misunderstanding the situation.”

How to deal with Gaslighting?

Stand firm in your truth
Keep the conversations short and simple
Note things down
Avoid Arguments
Learn to deny the abuser calmly
Consulting a professional
Have compassion for yourself
Join support groups
Remember that you cannot control other people’s actions
Get out of the relationship and do not return

6. They might consider you despicable

When you reject a narcissist they make an evil image of you in their mind. They would spread false accusations. They would also tell people that you have ill intentions and that your actions are despicable. When in reality they are the one who has nasty behavior and reputation.

A narcissist may mirror the same emotions as theirs when you reject them. Narcissists would just despise you for the rest of their lives if your ever insulted or rejected them because they hate it when people think they are not up to the mark. When you reject a Narcissist, they feel that you are unable to understand their worth and thus they consider you despicable for doing something so horrendous like rejecting them.

7. They try to take revenge

Narcissists cannot let go of insults that easily. Rejecting them would be considered an insult for them. Do not expect a maturely handled situation when you reject a narcissist. They may create a scene and play the victim here. They would blame you for giving them signs that lead them to such a situation. They might also plan something bad that can even smear your reputation. They may resent you for a long time.

8. They would quickly move on to a new partner

It does not take long for a narcissist to move on from their previous partner to a new one to obtain their narcissistic supply. Narcissists can be quick as a flash to move on to a new partner after you reject them. If this happens to you too just after rejecting them, you find the narcissist with a new partner, think it’s a blessing in disguise as you would be safe from narcissistic hoovering which can be very irritating and annoying for you.

9. They would act all gullible

All of a sudden they would be full of emotions and sensitivity and would also act like they can do anything for gaining your attention. But remember, this is all until they gain your attention. They would act gullible and would be ready to change for you when you try to reject them. But remember gullibility does not suit a narcissist and they would show hardly any changes once they have your attention. They would do anything to lull your rejection and ignorance.

Some other consequences include,

They might hoover around you until you give in and accept them.
They might provide fake apologies or be gullible.
They would make fake promises about them changing and becoming their better versions.
They might just drop the idea of convincing you and move on to lure someone else to make you jealous.

Final Thoughts

A narcissist might find it really difficult when you reject them and maintain no contact with them. Rejecting a narcissist and also maintaining no contact with them, becomes a strenuous task for a narcissist as they are habituated to receiving attention and validation from their partners. So when you reject a narcissist, that can directly pierce them right through their ego. Narcissists think that they are perfect and nobody can reject their remarkable personalities.

Narcissists might respond unexpectedly when you reject them. Their responses are often derived from their traits rather than based on emotions. They would either act all indifferent from the surface; unbothered and unaffected at all, or they would act extreme by having anger outbursts or seeking revenge for rejecting them. There also can be other reactions too based on different narcissistic personalities.

Author
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Ella Carrillo

Hey Reader, I am Ella, an Online and Offline Therapist holding an experience of 6 years in this field.

From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.

How Does A Narcissist Handle Rejection And No Contact? (Their Actual Feelings)

What to expect when you reject and go no contact with a narcissist?