What It Really Means When a Narcissist Says “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”? (Do They Really Feel It?)
What It Really Means When a Narcissist Says “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”? Do you also get confused when a narcissist says such things as “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”? Because this can either mean a narcissist is genuinely apologizing or it is one of their gaslighting techniques. Do you think a narcissist can apologize? How to decide what to believe when a narcissist says so?
Do you often think twice about what a narcissist meant when they said, “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” because you are unable to figure out what they actually meant by this statement? How do you make sure whether they said this genuinely or is it one more hypocritic manipulation technique? Let us throw some light on the topic further with a detailed discussion below.
What It Really Means When a Narcissist Says “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”?
While dealing with a narcissist, or dealing with someone who is suffering from any mental health disorder; you might have often heard this line, “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”, which in a way may seem less of an apology and more of a statement to the one they are apologizing. It may feel like the person(here a narcissist, or someone who is suffering from any mental health disorder) is using that statement as an escape from a real apology, a run away from taking responsibility, or something that you say when you do not want to take the blame. This sentence might sound like a passive-aggressive apology to someone you tend to apologize but not wholeheartedly.
Apologies are a means to repair the wrongdoing or an act of remorse in a given circumstance and the amount of damage caused. It is a way you can mend the damage caused by you either verbally or through actions. But apologies only work if they are heartfelt or sincere enough to at least restore, mend or improve the damage. Apologies can be verbal or can be presented through certain actions which are sincere enough to repair the situation or are consolidated to the person toward whom the apologies are projected.
Apologies can easily become “Non-apologies” when they are not sincere enough. Non-apologies are often used by many people, especially narcissists just to avoid taking responsibility for their wrongdoing. Non-apologies are just like putting a bandage on a wound that needs to be stitched rather than a bandage. Non-apologies are like hurried repairs or quick fixes to a damaging or mutilating problematic situation. Non-apologies are an awful way to turn away from a situation that may have occurred because of you. Narcissists often present non-apologies in the form of statements like “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” or “Do you really need an apology for this?”
Examples of non-apologies similar to; “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
1. “I’m Sorry, OKAY?”
This phrase is very much similar to; “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” which is the perfect example of an imperfect or insincere apology. The apology giver does not try to make a sincere effort and thus this sentence feels like a half-hearted effort. Such an apology feels like the person is just offering for the sake of saving their image and somewhat the relationship too.
2. “I’m Sorry you’re so sensitive – I was just joking.”
This is one of the most cunning and crafty insults that is presented as an apology. This is not an apology, but this is a technique of gaslighting. This statement completely disregards the person on the receiving end and just debunks their feelings. This is one of the most utilized statements used by abusers, and they do not feel the slightest of shame when they disgrace other people’s feelings. Their dishonorable actions make the other person feel small and not valuable.
3. “I regret that you felt hurt.”
This phrase states that the person who is at fault or the wrongdoer does not acknowledge the wrongdoing on their part. This phrase indicates and focuses on the wrongdoer’s feelings rather than the feelings of the recipient. Thus it sounds so unapologetic and not very genuine.
Do Narcissists really feel apologetic when they say “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”? – Or is it one of their Gaslighting techniques?
Narcissists are full of themselves, so they never really care for what others feel. They always just keep in check that they are not somehow embarrassed or insulted by others. Narcissists do not actually care when they hurt someone, they do not even realize that they have hurt someone unless and until that person leaves them, somehow representing their discontentment with the narcissist or just stopping being available to the narcissist.
Narcissists only apologize when they realize that the other person is severely hurt and that it might affect their narcissistic supply. It is only when their supply source starts drifting, one might hear an insincere, ingenuine, and half-hearted apology. Also, narcissists do not even try to change themselves or learn from their past experiences. They just adapt to this toxic cycle of doing something wrong, ignoring it, not even caring about the other person’s feelings and only and only apologize when the argument or the disagreement becomes serious or lengthy and when it starts affecting their dose of narcissistic supply.
What is Narcissistic supply?
A narcissistic supply is everything that makes a narcissistic life fulfilled. It is that one thing that a narcissist always craves even if it is in its negative forms, that is attention. One can even say that a narcissist is only able to fulfill their life purposes on the basis of supply itself. They feel handicapped without their sources of admiration, attention, validation, importance, and everything that makes them feel special. Narcissists seek supply more than anything, and they could do everything to obtain their dose of supply.
Narcissists and apologies are two opposite poles of a magnet that always repel each other. Narcissists continue this toxic cycle of wrongdoings and try to cover it up with just a few insincere words which they state like they are doing a favor by apologizing. They do not mean to give sincere apologies at all, it is just one of their unconcerned attempt to just keep the relationship going to gain what they need and desire.
Narcissists feel that apologizing may hurt their pride as it will prove their wrongdoing or bring a negative light on them. Narcissists always present themselves as someone who is perfectly cast, and someone who is incapable of making mistakes. So when it comes to apologizing they would be insincere with their efforts or just ignore providing an apology altogether.
Narcissists would never choose to apologize in the first place, but if at all a narcissist has to present an apology somehow they would simply either provide insincere apologies when it becomes really really necessary for them or they would just provide statements that are more inclined towards their gaslighting technique.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a pattern of abuse or manipulation used by manipulators, abusers, cult leaders, narcissists, or people who wish to always have control over situations and their victims. Gaslighters can change the reality of the situation and they are capable to prove themselves innocent when you blame them for their wrongdoing. Thus gaslighting is a technique that can allow an abuser to create such an atmosphere where the victims question their own reality and it forces the victims to doubt their own sanity.
For instance, they would just twist the reality of the situation. Narcissists would be abusive and irrational but would never accept it rather than keep denying such facts. When you point at their mistakes they would tell you things like, “Stop acting all paranoid”, “Don’t overreact to little things”, or “You sound crazy”. When in reality you would not be wrong but instead they would prove that the problem is with you and not them.
The important thing to note here is that gaslighting is a completely cyclical incident. It does not just happen once, it is a repetitive abusive cycle of multiple events for which you are a victim.
Why would narcissists use Gaslighting instead of a sincere apology?
- The most important reason is that narcissists feel that they are never wrong and that they are perfect. They are incapable of making mistakes. So they never really pay attention to noticing other people’s feelings and emotions and apologize.
- Narcissists gaslight in order to have a sense of control by making others feel inadequate of them.
- Some narcissists use gaslighting, out of their natural habit, as they might have had a traumatic childhood because of abusive parents who might also have used the same gaslighting technique with them. Thus they also learn and implement the same with others especially after doing something terrible. They would present statements for apology like, “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” or “I’m Sorry you’re so sensitive – I was just joking” rather than sincerely apologizing to you.
- Narcissists use Gaslighting to establish authority.
- Some narcissists use gaslighting to boost their ego by proving others wrong even if they are not, or to escape some unwanted situation too.
- Most of the time, when a narcissist is blamed for some wrongdoing, then they use gaslighting to distort the reality of the situation and shift the blame by projecting it towards you.
Conclusion
Narcissists often present non-apologies in the form of statements like “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” or “Do you really need an apology for this?”
Narcissists and apologies are two opposite poles of a magnet that always repel each other. Narcissists continue this toxic cycle of wrongdoings and try to cover it up with just a few insincere words which they state like they are doing a favor by apologizing. They do not mean to give sincere apologies at all, it is just one of their unconcerned attempt to just keep the relationship going to gain what they need and desire.
Narcissists feel that apologizing may hurt their pride as it will prove their wrongdoing or bring a negative light on them. Narcissists always present themselves as someone who is perfectly cast, and someone who is incapable of making mistakes. So when it comes to apologizing they would be insincere with their efforts or just ignore providing an apology altogether.
Narcissists would never choose to apologize in the first place, but if at all a narcissist has to present an apology somehow they would simply either provide insincere apologies when it becomes really really necessary for them or they would just provide statements that are more inclined towards their gaslighting technique.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
- The reaction of a Narcissist When He/She Sees You Cry (Every Narcissist Do this) - November 12, 2024
- Help! My Sister is a Narcissist (How to Deal with her?) - November 12, 2024
- 7+ Working Ways To Get Revenge on a Narcissist - November 7, 2024
