Can A Narcissist Change?
Can a Narcissist change? If you are wondering about a similar question, here are a few perspectives regarding the question that may be helpful to you in finding a satisfactory answer.
Everyone does display some narcissistic traits at least at some point of time in their life. Nobody is perfect and they may have negative emotions. However these emotions may not be retained for a long time, they may fade away after the issue is resolved. But when that does not happen, and those traits get ingrained in your behavior then this may be an issue of concern.
If these traits get implanted in your behavior then it is a possibility that you may be suffering through narcissism. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder, which may be detected upon clinical diagnosis.
But there is nothing to worry about, as everyone can change themselves, and people with a personality disorder can change, but with dedication, commitment, right intentions, willingness to change, and a chance to prove themselves.
The most difficult and notorious challenge that may come across for narcissists is that they need to identify and notice the issue with them. Self-awareness and taking responsibility may be the first steps to initiate changes. Unless the narcissistic individual does not recognize the problem with themselves, there is a less likely chance that they may be thinking in the direction of change.
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissism is a personality disorder that is a clinically proven mental health illness, which requires a diagnosis to claim someone as a narcissist. Narcissistic Personality disorder is a mental health condition that may be characterized by a boosted sense of self-importance, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and an inflated ego.
Narcissists feel that they are more special and entitled than others and thus they deserve everything in priority and are better than others. They are completely self-obsessed and have this superior sense of being great and entitled to others.
A narcissist is someone who is often characterized as being extremely self-absorbed. They always prioritize themself and their needs above others. They have a high sense of self-importance. Thus it can be concluded, that narcissists only care for themselves, their needs and desires, and their wishes.
There are different subtypes of narcissism, which may have their concerns that may affect their efforts to change. But with the right guidance, therapies, and strong support, anyone is capable of changing themselves, no matter what.
Can A Narcissist Change?
Changes are difficult, and they may come with their own set of difficulties. When changes are associated with narcissism, they may become even more difficult. There are a few stages that may help to incorporate changes in personality, namely,
Awareness – Self-awareness is the primary step to understanding what is the issue and what you are going through because of that
Acceptance – Accepting the fact that you need help is the second step toward change
Action – After realizing the need to change, then comes the final and most important step to seek help through the right ways
Someone who is a narcissist may find it difficult to incorporate changes at every step. So what difficulties do they encounter?
Are narcissists aware of the fact that they are Narcissists?
This is completely related to being self-aware of the issue.
It may be difficult for a narcissist to recognize the need for change due to their qualities and tendencies which may prevent them from viewing themselves as imperfect or finding faults.
They have inflated egos and a grandiose self-image, which only allows them to perceive flattery, and praise and makes them avoid criticism. They only want to hear what is good about them and not what they are lacking as they want to maintain their perfect image. This makes the narcissist arrogant, and rude.
They may not recognize themselves as narcissists or may be unaware of the term but are very well familiar with the way they behave and how they affect others. Most narcissists know this but there are exceptions everywhere.
A bothersome fact here is that they may be enjoying this behavior. So they may be well aware of themselves yet fail to recognize the problem. Their behavior is well justified according to them.
Can Narcissists realize that they need help?
So if narcissists can identify the problem with themselves, they may still lack the self-awareness and acceptance of the fact that they need help. They may also lack the realization of why they act in the way they act.
Narcissists have these deep-rooted insecurities which may either be associated with their traumatic childhood, narcissistic parents, or something that may have triggered their personality disorder. Thus they may be extremely sensitive and vulnerable in seeking help.
Anything that makes them see their shortcoming, may cause a narcissistic injury or trigger their negative traits. So if someone narcissistic reaches the realization or self-awareness stage, their insecurities and a narcissistic injury may not allow them to move forward with seeking help.
But some well-determined narcissists do reach this second stage too and can ask for help without feeling underwhelmed.
Are Narcissists able to take the right actions to incorporate changes?
It is a social stigma that people who need the most help would hesitate to seek help due to shame, fear, and disgrace. They think that people may think less of them if they ask for help as it may be proof that they are problematic.
Narcissists always work hard to portray themselves as perfect, superior, and entitled to others, thus they may never be able to accept that they need help and wish to seek help.
Narcisists are control freaks and this may seem an impossible task as seeking help means being open about your problem, accepting what others have to say, and putting themselves in their hands which includes losing control of self.
Narcissists are themselves a roadblock to the path of change as their traits and mentality would not allow them to be vulnerable and seek help. Some narcissists would make it to the therapists but would lack consistency as their old habits and thoughts may keep them pulling back to the toxic world.
Can Narcissists change for someone they love or like?
Change comes from within and nobody can be forced to change. But if a narcissist is strong-willed and determined to change then nobody can stop them but themselves. The success rate of these changes may vary based on different aspects, but a narcissist would try to change for the loved ones if they matter to them.
Changes that occur naturally may last longer than forced ones, so make sure you do not force the narcissist to change. Also, changes can be considered in a true sense when they’re consistent. Their effectiveness depends upon continuity and not trials.
How to Tell if a Narcissist is Open to Change?
Predicting the success rate of someone with a narcissistic personality to change is slim to gradually increase. Narcissism is an insidious personality disorder thus measuring the accuracy and success of bringing changes may be a total gamble. Let us know a few signs that may indicate the narcissist is open to accepting and incorporating changes,
- They would pay more attention to you than others
- There is consistency in their behavior
- They may genuinely feel apologetic and would apologize to you when they switch to their toxic personalities
- They take Accountability for their actions
- They have controlled emotional regulations
What should a narcissist do to Change?
According to mental health experts and certified therapists, narcissists need to identify the issue themselves and have the determination to change and only then therapy may work for them. Here are some points suggested by mental health experts that may push the narcissist towards the path of change,
Self-Reflection – Bring self-awareness regarding the issues with the help of experts, self-help books, or any reliable.
Motivation – Motivation brings and determines the will to incorporate changes
Emotional Stability – Narcissists usually find it difficult to regulate emotions, but if they start controlling their anger and emotional turmoil, they can focus on important things like therapy and positive behavior.
High-functioning life – Being able to accept NPD and get going in life smoothly despite all the blocks
Willingness to Improve – Narcissists who invest time, effort, and skills toward changing may more likely incorporate changes quickly in their behavior
How to help a narcissist change?
Narcissists may need a little help or a push to change themselves or incorporate changes,
What you can do to help is,
Be realistic – If the narcissist does not wish to change or is unable to realize that they need to be better, do not push them further as self-realization is important. If they show little interest then do not push them harder as they may lose interest. Do not pretend or force them. Being realistic works best here.
Maintain boundaries – It is important to see boundaries even if the narcissists start showing changes, as boundaries ensure that you are not rewarding their negative behavior.
Be prepared to leave in case – Though every cloud has a silver lining, meaning everyone and anyone can change. But if during the process the narcissist resorts to any kind of abuse, and stops showing progress then you must make up your mind to detach yourself from them as changes are not easy and may come with a price.
Final Thoughts
Change is challenging, especially with a narcissist in the frame. Expecting a narcissist to change may lead you nowhere unless the narcissist is willing.
Changes that occur naturally may last longer than forced ones, so make sure you do not force the narcissist to change. Also, changes can be considered in a true sense when they’re consistent. Their effectiveness depends upon continuity and not trials.
Narcissists are themselves a roadblock to the path of change as their traits and mentality would not allow them to be vulnerable and seek help. Some narcissists would make it to the therapists but would lack consistency as their old habits and thoughts may keep them pulling back to the toxic world.
From Relationship, Depression, and Personality Disorder to Narcissistic problems, I have helped a lot of people find their solutions. Upon gathering a number of common problems that people face, I decided to put the information on this blog so that anyone can get their answers easily.
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